tchbee:

brodinsons:

George Takei presents us with an interesting poll:

I love this man more than words can explain, and this is just one of the many reasons why.
He isn’t afraid to stand up for people who don’t have a voice and he’s got intelligent ways of doing so.

George Takei: Possibly the best

Heh. UwU

tchbee:

brodinsons:

George Takei presents us with an interesting poll:

I love this man more than words can explain, and this is just one of the many reasons why.

He isn’t afraid to stand up for people who don’t have a voice and he’s got intelligent ways of doing so.

George Takei: Possibly the best

Heh. UwU

(via demonoflight)

meowgon:

abigcorpseparty:

flashandthunderfire:

i have a couple important things i would like to discuss with you!!!!

1. sexual and romantic orientation are not divided into a small handful of neat little boxes. they are a spectrum. like in photoshop, when you are trying to pick a color and there’s that lovely rainbow? that is the orientation spectrum! please stop acting like you’re either gay or straight and that’s it, because that’s called erasure and it’s gross and hurtful. i mean, we have a whole bunch of canonically pansexual major characters. are we seriously acting like you can be homo or hetero and that’s it. really? really?

2. corollary: stop pretending romantic orientation doesn’t exist. it does! the end.

3. also: when someone chooses to label themselves, please be respectful of their chosen label(s)! dirk strider canonically does not label himself as gay. he is clearly romantically (and, it is implied, sexually) interested in dudes, yes! he is a canonically queer character! but we do not actually know what label he refers to himself with yet. so stop referring to him as gay! thank you.

4. and while we’re at it, if everybody could stop being jerks about gender identity, especially in regard to calmasis, that would be great.

ok i’m done.

these are good things to keep in mind

yes thank you

I’ve noticed a lot of #1 in the shiping wars. Gamzee and Rose are not and never were “obviously gay”, Dave, Jade, Jane, Roxy and Jake are not and never were “obviously straight”. As for the trolls, Tavros, Karkat, Terezi, Vriska, Equius and Eridan have all displayed fairly obvious concupiscent attraction to both male and female characters, as for the other six, here’s a rundown:

  • Aradia: Dated Equius and possible Sollux. May have had a hatecrush on Vriska.
  • Sollux: Dated Feferi and possibly Aradia. His interactions with Eridan during Hivebent colud be interpreted as a disastrous caliginous relationship. May have hateflirted with Karkat.
  • Nepeta: Has a flushed crush on Karkat, may have flirted with Terezi.
  • Kanaya: Canonically exclusively gay, end of story.
  • Gamzee: Canonical flushed crush on Tavros, canonical hatecrush on Dave and / or the ICP.
  • Feferi: Dated Sollux. May have had a crush on Jade.

If you can’t tell the difference between canon and fanon, please stay out of the shipping wars.

As for #2, yes, affectional / romantic orientation is indeed a thing, you should probably read up on it if you haven’t already.

(Source: reijys)

sweetslipperyvictory:

magpizza:

lesbiaaans:

magpizza:

Book I just got from my parents. Thanks…

Mag, my suggestion to you would be to invest in some wrapping paper, and in return present them with this:


June, I laughed really hard at this. (And I may have cried a little too.) Thank you! :)

Best thing I’ve ever seen in my life

Lol, the fake cover’s hilarious, someone should make it an actual book. UwU
On a more serious note, I hope they come around eventually. T_T
Also, I did a bit of quick Googling and found a couple books which might be good as snarky but completely sincere gifts to explain the situation to them in familiar terms.

sweetslipperyvictory:

magpizza:

lesbiaaans:

magpizza:

Book I just got from my parents. Thanks…

Mag, my suggestion to you would be to invest in some wrapping paper, and in return present them with this:

June, I laughed really hard at this. (And I may have cried a little too.) Thank you! :)

Best thing I’ve ever seen in my life

Lol, the fake cover’s hilarious, someone should make it an actual book. UwU

On a more serious note, I hope they come around eventually. T_T

Also, I did a bit of quick Googling and found a couple books which might be good as snarky but completely sincere gifts to explain the situation to them in familiar terms.

vexarian:

lakobie:

pancakesinspace:

weirdoqueen:

ellenshepard:

knightless:

bdoing:

caeciliusestinhorto:

me-and-sweeney:

girl-panic:

jiji-is-a-bunny:

According to my psychology professor, we do not exist.

According to her, we are wrong for existing.

My professor flat out said this morning that she does not “believe” in bisexuals. She proceeded to say that the only valid and real orientations are heterosexual, and homosexual,and nothing else exists. There is no in between,and if we believe we are anything but hetero or homo, we are just confused, and mislead.

She also believes transgender people are just confused.

So basically, to her, we are mythical creatures. We are unicorns, from a magical fairyland. 

Reblog this if you are a fucking magical unicorn.

Reblog this if you believe orientation shouldn’t even fucking matter.

Reblog this if you believe orientation is a spectrum, and it is NOT black and white.

Reblog this if you know you exist.

I hope the OP complained to the Dean about this. Not only is it completely bigoted, it’s irresponsible for a teacher to make comments like this. And a psychology teacher, of all people, should fucking know better.

I AM A MAGICAL UNICORN.

UNICORN PRIDE

GO TEAM UNICORN

You know, part of me always wanted to be a unicorn. Now I can be to a psychology teacher! LIVING THE DREAM!

My sociology teacher believes we exist! My friends, sadly, think pansexuals and bisexuals are the same thing =/

FUCK YEAH UNICORNS ARE AWESOME

SEXIEST UNICORN ON THE MOTHERFUCKING BLOCK

may you are a unicorn

That psychology professor is a fucking quack. Homosexuality doesn’t even make sense without a fluid spectrum.

This anecdote is hard to believe. It sounds like a joke or an urban legend or something. But quite a few tenured quacks have made it onto the DSM task forces over the years, so there are definitely psychology professors out there who really are this out of touch. I’m going to assume it’s probably true.

knowhomo:

LGBTQ* Charts, Diagrams and Breaking it Down
Venn Diagram Reference for Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Biological Sex
(from Transgender Allies Blogspot)

Heh.

knowhomo:

LGBTQ* Charts, Diagrams and Breaking it Down

Venn Diagram Reference for Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Biological Sex

(from Transgender Allies Blogspot)

Heh.

gordonecker:

lakobie:

vexarian:

lakobie:

vexarian:

gordonecker:

warwithouttears:

I don’t see why Jake shooting down one guy means that he can’t be attracted to any of them. And this ship makes more sense for people to leap on because Bro, at least, has been implied to be interested in Jake. It doesn’t mean it’ll be more than a one-sided crush, but it still makes more sense than most predictable main male character ships.

Is that the entire argument? That he’s almost certainly exclusively straight because he likes women and shot down one guy? That Jake English, a guy with an established tendancy to get shy and flustered in romantic situations, shot down Bro Strider, a guy with an establised tendancy to be extremely forthright in romantic situations, and an established tendancy to make people uncomfortable with that whole puppet thing? That’s like arguing that Tavros is probably straight because he dated Vriska, hit on Jade, shot down Gamzee and got scared off by Dave’s vulgar counter-trolling. Or arguing that Karkat (before his crush on Jade became canon) is probably exclusively gay because he keeps shooting down Terezi and Nepeta and has a canon hatecrush on John.
Also, I don’t think we should rule out the possibility that Andrew Hussie hasn’t planned out a romantic storyline for Jake, and is being deliberately ambiguous because he wants to keep his options open. We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.
TL:DR: this is still accurate….

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

>We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.
Gordon, what the fuck comic are you reading? Are you even reading the comic? Because it doesn’t sound like you’re reading the comic.
The relationship between Rose and Kanaya is easily the weakest of the four patron ships. I honestly don’t even think it’s as strong as the relationship between Rose and John. It wins by default not by any virtue of it’s own, and even then it’s victory is arguable.
Of course that aside, arguing that Jake’s sexual orientation is “Ambiguous” is positively moronic.
Jake’s attraction toward women is so obvious as to be outright undeniable. He has a fetish for blue skinned women and a kink for spider girls and has flirted - to some degree - with both Jane and “Roxy” Lalonde.
That last part is important. When informed that he had been featured in one of Jane’s dreams his immediate thought was romantically or sexually inclined as evidenced by his reaction. Also notable is the fact that he did NOT - and this is important - try to shun Jane or evade the subject.
With “Dick” however his reaction was precisely the opposite. Given the context of their conversations - particularly early in their first - it seems incredibly likely that “Dick” has propositioned Jake in the past and then been turned down. Notice how much Jake tries to stress the platonic nature of their relationship. He wouldn’t be this uncomfortable nor was he when a similar train of thought occurred to him with Jane. This means quite simply that we can rule out his discomfort being a simple byproduct of romantic/sexual thoughts and instead regard them as being specific to “Dick”. You know what the simplest answer to this is? Jake “is not a homosexual”.
Of course it’s not confirmed. There’s no smoking puppet ass for either of them. But to look at Jake’s interactions with Jane and “Roxy” and at his interactions with “Dick” and claim that his sexual orientation is ambiguous. Well that’s a fucking lie. The only real question is if you’re lying to yourself or if you’re lying to everyone else.

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

Wrong.
In the absence of overwhelming convincing evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.
I do like how you’re not questioning “Dick” and his theoretical homosexuality, being as that is just as “unconfirmed”.
Also as for that picture with Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, “Roxy” and “Jake” on it.
I’ve already addressed Jake pretty thoroughly. The only way for him to avoid the terrible curse of heterosexuality is by something that simply isn’t going to happen. It’s already impossible for him to be straight on gay, he’s interacted positively with Jane and “Roxy”, he has multiple girl-focused fetishes and kinks and his Beta!Counterpart is obviously interested in women. The “Gayest” he can possibly be is bisexual and even that is simply not going to happen. He’s already shot down “Dick” for reasons we can only assume are based on sexual incompatibility, for him to turn out to be bisexual he would have to first be closeted and convinced of his own sexual orientation. There’s no evidence of this and Homestuck… really isn’t that sort of story.
So Jake is straight. He’s attracted to women, he’s not attracted to men. End of story.
Rose’s canonical love interests are Kanaya and John. Obviously for there to be any sort of romantic tension both have to be plausible and possible for her to form a relationship with, making her bisexual by default. This is also the most likely to be her actual orientation, although there is an admittedly small probability of her turning out to be a strict lesbian and an even smaller probability of her turning out to be a strict heterosexual.
The only real issue here is that Rose is stuck on the meteor with Kanaya and separated from John for the next three years. However I strongly doubt that this is simply going to be the end of Rose’s romantic arc, or Kanaya’s for that matter. It’s too clean and too easy. Either they end up breaking up - temporarily or otherwise - or they simply never get together on the meteor to begin with. Either way for it to be at all meaningful Rose needs a fall-back interest. Kanaya has Vriska and possibly “Roxy” if things pan out as I expect, but there’s no woman for Rose to fall back onto, there’s just John.
So yes, Rose is almost definitely Bisexual.
Jade is heterosexual. I can just flat out state this one. This isn’t necessarily because she is however, it’s simply because it’s as far as she needs to be. Both of her love interests are male - Dave and Karkat - and she has no other romantic prospects, one-sided or otherwise.
Dave is either heterosexual or bisexual. He can’t be homosexual, the shipping math just falls apart if that’s the case. Chances are better then decent that he’s simply heterosexual, however there are hints that he may be more open then that. Nothing terribly overt however, for the most part it’s just an intricate web of suppositions and “What-If” ideas. Postulating that Gamzee may have developed some form of blackrom crush on Dave as a result of the ICP video. Noting some of the subject matter in SBAHJ, Dave’s Comic and a look into his subconscious.
So yeah, Dave is probably heterosexual, although if Hussie wants to go that way he may end up bisexual. Not very likely however.
Jane looks to be heterosexual but until the act takes on a more defined shape - and the romantic arcs in particular - making a legitimate call as to the outcome will be pretty much impossible. Decent chance she’s straight, but the undeniable possibility of a curve ball.
“Roxy” is attracted to men, this much is definite. However it’s virtually impossible to determine if she’s attracted to women as well. Her entire shipping diagram is a mess of mystery. There’s absolutely no telling what will happen here. Heterosexual or Bisexual, it’s all I can say, can’t even say which is more likely.

Vex.
Vex vex vexy vexian vexacious vexer vex.
Just cause im druuugged doesnt mean I cant rant here about shiiiping
ANYWAY the statment that “Kanaya and Rose is the weakest of the canonical relationships” is just flatout wrong. If anything its almost as strong as John/Vriska at this point in the story.
Up until recently we knew Kanaya has a a pretty heavy handed crush on Rose. She tried to avoid falling into the same pitfalls as she did with Vriska, but even then she started obsessing over Rose after a while in teh story, to the point when she beat up two and killed one of her fellow trolls she went RIGHT back to staring at Rose’s grimdark turn.
The only thing keeping this relationship from fully support is Rose. Rose and Dave basically never are direct about their feelings so its difficult to discern if Rose has any attraction to Kanaya. Until the meteor that is.
Rose specifically tries the hardest to get Kanaya to come along with them on the journey. Her line about the color of her shirt and Kanaya’s light is probably the most suggestive subtext, as a traffic cone is reflective and would require the two to be near each other at all times. Karkat Lampshades this RIGHT afterwards.
If I were to come up with anything else to support the relation, it would have to be “dick’s” sexual orientation which is VERY suggested to be gay. Other than obvious subtext, “Roxy” even calls him an “ineligible bachelor”. Jake is offlimits to her because she basically ships Jake and Jane. But why would “Dick” be offlimits? The most likely answer would be to sexual orientation.
As boots pointed out, if one of the alphaSburb kids is gay, then theres a high chance of parallelism and one of the betaSburb kids are gay as well. The most likely candidates are Rose and Dave, with Rose having the only canonically gay relationship.
You made like 30 rants about subtext and implicit statements man how do you miss the most implicit and subtextual statments of all?

Lakobie I’m going to ask you not to Tumblr after huffing Laughing Gas.
I said that Rose/Kanaya is the weakest of the Patron Ships, which it absolutely is.
John/Vriska is everything but confirmed. Vriska fell horns over heels for the derp, John wants to d8 her, the only problem holding them back right now is a mild case of deadness.
Jade/Karkat is so astonishingly blatant it’s hard to miss. Karkat literally cannot stop thinking about Jade, nor can he hide this fact. There is also the fact that Karkat never got to say what he wanted to, and given the context of the scene and their relationship it’s very possible that he wanted to confess FEELINGS to her.
Dave/Terezi isn’t as clear as the Romances of the Derp Twins, I will grant this. However it does remain quite clear. Dave likes Terezi a lot, he felt betrayed when she killed his alternative self. Terezi likes Dave enough to go crying off into the sunset after he rejected her for the aforementioned betrayal. It’s not obviously romantic but it is enough. Particularly when one takes into account the fact that Karkat thought that she was flirting with Dave to bother him. Something that is both correct and incorrect.
By contrast Kanaya has a similar feel to it as Jade/Karkat at the moment. Kanaya’s feelings are all too obvious, at least to us the reader. But there are two immensely stark differences between the two. The first is that Kanaya hasn’t made any sort of reveal to Rose as to her feelings or her intentions.
The second is Rose’s “Message in a Cool!Kid” to John. We still don’t know what she wanted to say and it’s quite similar to the Jade/Karkat relationship in this sense in that it could easily be a romantic sentiment. Of course it could also be a platonic sentiment. I personally see the idea of it being a romantic sentiment as more likely, although it’s rather subjective at the moment.
What we can be sure of however is that it was not a rejection. It would simply make no sense for Rose’s - potentially final - message to John to be anything of that sort. Not when she expects death to be a possibility therefore rendering any such sentiment to be ultimately irrelevant.
But yes, admittedly neither of the Kids’ Ships have all that much substance at the moment, for the most part just a significant amount of fondness and the occasional ship-teasing pesterlog. This doesn’t confirm anything, but it also doesn’t rule anything out.
But yes, at the moment I do consider the Meta-Reason of not wanting to wrap up the romantic arcs so damn easily, combined with the Rose’s hanging plot thread with John to be sufficient to say that John/Rose is stronger then Rose/Kanaya.

Hmmm instill dunnoooo. I’ve always felt that jade is acTually The kid who shows the least amount of romantic subtext to her potential pairings. Rose on the other hand quickly became almost like a menTor to kanaya and as i pointed out from the meteor there’s a great deal of subtext there. I’m in too much pain/drugged to go over it all but maybe u can ask boots
Re: Rose x Kanaya
Nepeta ships them and Karkat and Sollux agree that they’re flirting. I didn’t say Rose and Kanaya are guaranteed to become an official couple and live happily ever after, I was trying to say that they’re closest to official couple status as of the end of the intermission, and that we still don’t know if it’s going to happen (we don’t even know if Hussie’s made up his mind). “Nearly married” was hyperbole, chosen specifically to contrast against the statement that we don’t even know if Rose is attracted to women in order to emphasize how Hussie has not made a habit of nailing down characters’ sexual orientations. While I’m pretty sure that some of the romantic arcs aren’t going to get resolved until Act 7, I wouldn’t be surprized if some of them got resolved a lot sooner. Also, becoming an established couple would play into Homestuck’s “growing up” theme, change a pairing’s relationship dynamic, get the “will they or won’t they” question out of the way and allow their personal storylines to focus on other things. For example if Rose and Kanaya come out of the timeskip as an established couple (or bffsies, palemates4LYFE or whatever, as long as it’s a stable, long-term relationship dynamic), Rose’s storyline could focus more heavily on working through her various issues, while Kanaya’s storyline could focus more on the matriorb, her self-esteem, rainbow drinker problems, her growth as a Sylph of Space and her other quadrants.
Re: Bro x Jake
Yes, Jake is indeed 100% confirmed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. So’s pretty much everyone on Torchwood. When Jane accidentally said something sugestive to Jake, his reaction was pretty much “That sounds so hot I’m getting kind of embarrassed.”, then she corrected him, clarifying that she wasn’t trying to flirt and it wasn’t that kind of dream. Neither Jane nor “Roxy” have sent Jake any cuddlebots or bombarded him with vulgar robot or puppet sex analogies which I’m pretty sure would be offputting to most straight women (It’s possible that “Dick” Strider is interested in women, “Roxy” Lalonde’s “so naive” and “ineligible bachelor” comments could refer to how she considers the whole creepy robot / puppet thing and / or his morbid sense of humour to be a deal breaker.).
That said, IMO, of all the major Homestuck characters, Jake’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed as exclusively straight and Bro’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed to be exclusively gay, but I don’t think that rules out the possibility of Bro x Jake or “Roxy” x Bro or pushes them into crackship territory, I just think it makes the pairings less likely than the frontrunners.
Re: Ambiguity and Schrödinger
Perhaps “inconclusive” would have been a better word choice than “ambiguous”, and I should probably clarify what I mean by “Schrödinger’s sexual orientation”. John, Kanaya and Karkat have firmly established sexual orientations, however there is more than enough wiggle room to establish Gamzee as either bi or exclusively gay, or to establish Aradia or Nepeta as either bi or exclusively straight.
If a character is implicitly straight or implicitly gay, I won’t ignore anything which might be contradictory subtext or foreshadowing because I don’t want to get blindsided by the next Ivy ♥ Harley or Willow ♥ Tara. That approach has worked fine for Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse, Doctor Who, Heroes and Glee, and I don’t see why I should abandon that approach for Homestuck and risk embarrassing myself like those people who thought Kanaya had a crush on Tavros.
Maybe Hussie’s decided on Jake’s sexual orientation like he has for Kanaya, John and Lord English, maybe he hasn’t, and will eventually go with whichever option he ultimately decides is most comedically and / or dramatically suitable. Maybe he’ll decide that the Bro ♥ Jake dynamic is funnier if the crush is completely one-sided, maybe he’ll decide it’s funnier with a Terezi ♥ Karkat, Nepeta ♥ Karkat or Gamzee ♥ Tavros dynamic, maybe he’ll decide that the funniest option is to troll everyone by throwing around Jake x Bro red herrings as the setup to a “not a homosexual” punchline in late Act 6, or by establishing that Bro’s the straight one and Jake’s the one with the unrequited crush (it’s pretty unlikely, but I guess that Bro’s flirtations could be retconned as Bro snarkily teasing Jake about his obvious and annoying unrequited crush, similar to how Dave scared off Tavros in this pesterlog).
Re: The diagram
I’m pretty sure none of those six characters are exclusively gay. I just don’t think that it’s been established beyond a reasonable doubt that any of them is exclusively straight. That said, there’s a difference between being bisexual and having viable love interests of both sexes, Karkat’s canonically bi, but hasn’t had any viable canon male love interests in either of his concupiscent quadrants.
TL:DR
I take a scattershot approach to plot speculation because I like to cover all my bases. If there’s a theory which is consistant with established canon and reasonably plausible, I’ll probably defend it. If I’m right, great, I can brag about how I called it. If I’m wrong, it’s no big deal, fan theories get jossed all the time. If a theory’s inconsistant with canon, I don’t have any problem poking holes in it, if I’m polite about it, there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll come off as nice and friendly because I’m pointing out aspects of canon other people may have missed. If people are treating fanon like actual canon, I might politely remind them that their theories aren’t canon, especially if fanon’s being used to argue against canon-compatible theories, it’s often a great opportunity for casual, friendly smartassery. If a theory’s plausible and inconsistant with canon but I dislike it, I might say I dislike it, I’ve been pretty vocal about my dislike of various sadstuck theories, but I generally won’t dismiss it as impossible because I don’t want to be one of those obnoxious fans who swing around their headcanons like they’re actual canon, and don’t want to risk the embarrassment of having argued against a theory which turned out to be canon (Unless the dismissal’s more along the lines of “I’m pretty sure the writers wouldn’t do that because it’s awful and they should know better”.).

> Resist urge to reblog.

You make a halfhearted attempt to resist the urge, the thread is just too hilarious in hindsight.
Anyway, in retrospect, it should’ve been obvious. There seems to be general consensus among the romspeccers that Gamzee ♥ Dirk is probably going to be one of the endgame pairings assuming neither of them gets killed off. However, considering Hussie’s track record, it’s fairly likely that there’s going to be a love triangle to preserve dramatic tension, which would mean one of them needs another viable love interest, and Hussie’s been building up the Dirk ♥ Jake arc since early Act 6. IMO the Jakestakes arc is going to end in a hilarious clusterfrak (figuratively speaking), and sinking of any ships involving Jake or his potential love interests is unlikely to happen prior to said clusterfrak.

gordonecker:

lakobie:

vexarian:

lakobie:

vexarian:

gordonecker:

warwithouttears:

I don’t see why Jake shooting down one guy means that he can’t be attracted to any of them. And this ship makes more sense for people to leap on because Bro, at least, has been implied to be interested in Jake. It doesn’t mean it’ll be more than a one-sided crush, but it still makes more sense than most predictable main male character ships.

Is that the entire argument? That he’s almost certainly exclusively straight because he likes women and shot down one guy? That Jake English, a guy with an established tendancy to get shy and flustered in romantic situations, shot down Bro Strider, a guy with an establised tendancy to be extremely forthright in romantic situations, and an established tendancy to make people uncomfortable with that whole puppet thing? That’s like arguing that Tavros is probably straight because he dated Vriska, hit on Jade, shot down Gamzee and got scared off by Dave’s vulgar counter-trolling. Or arguing that Karkat (before his crush on Jade became canon) is probably exclusively gay because he keeps shooting down Terezi and Nepeta and has a canon hatecrush on John.

Also, I don’t think we should rule out the possibility that Andrew Hussie hasn’t planned out a romantic storyline for Jake, and is being deliberately ambiguous because he wants to keep his options open. We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.

TL:DR: this is still accurate….

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

>We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.

Gordon, what the fuck comic are you reading? Are you even reading the comic? Because it doesn’t sound like you’re reading the comic.

The relationship between Rose and Kanaya is easily the weakest of the four patron ships. I honestly don’t even think it’s as strong as the relationship between Rose and John. It wins by default not by any virtue of it’s own, and even then it’s victory is arguable.

Of course that aside, arguing that Jake’s sexual orientation is “Ambiguous” is positively moronic.

Jake’s attraction toward women is so obvious as to be outright undeniable. He has a fetish for blue skinned women and a kink for spider girls and has flirted - to some degree - with both Jane and “Roxy” Lalonde.

That last part is important. When informed that he had been featured in one of Jane’s dreams his immediate thought was romantically or sexually inclined as evidenced by his reaction. Also notable is the fact that he did NOT - and this is important - try to shun Jane or evade the subject.

With “Dick” however his reaction was precisely the opposite. Given the context of their conversations - particularly early in their first - it seems incredibly likely that “Dick” has propositioned Jake in the past and then been turned down. Notice how much Jake tries to stress the platonic nature of their relationship. He wouldn’t be this uncomfortable nor was he when a similar train of thought occurred to him with Jane. This means quite simply that we can rule out his discomfort being a simple byproduct of romantic/sexual thoughts and instead regard them as being specific to “Dick”. You know what the simplest answer to this is? Jake “is not a homosexual”.

Of course it’s not confirmed. There’s no smoking puppet ass for either of them. But to look at Jake’s interactions with Jane and “Roxy” and at his interactions with “Dick” and claim that his sexual orientation is ambiguous. Well that’s a fucking lie. The only real question is if you’re lying to yourself or if you’re lying to everyone else.

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

Wrong.

In the absence of overwhelming convincing evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

I do like how you’re not questioning “Dick” and his theoretical homosexuality, being as that is just as “unconfirmed”.

Also as for that picture with Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, “Roxy” and “Jake” on it.

I’ve already addressed Jake pretty thoroughly. The only way for him to avoid the terrible curse of heterosexuality is by something that simply isn’t going to happen. It’s already impossible for him to be straight on gay, he’s interacted positively with Jane and “Roxy”, he has multiple girl-focused fetishes and kinks and his Beta!Counterpart is obviously interested in women. The “Gayest” he can possibly be is bisexual and even that is simply not going to happen. He’s already shot down “Dick” for reasons we can only assume are based on sexual incompatibility, for him to turn out to be bisexual he would have to first be closeted and convinced of his own sexual orientation. There’s no evidence of this and Homestuck… really isn’t that sort of story.

So Jake is straight. He’s attracted to women, he’s not attracted to men. End of story.

Rose’s canonical love interests are Kanaya and John. Obviously for there to be any sort of romantic tension both have to be plausible and possible for her to form a relationship with, making her bisexual by default. This is also the most likely to be her actual orientation, although there is an admittedly small probability of her turning out to be a strict lesbian and an even smaller probability of her turning out to be a strict heterosexual.

The only real issue here is that Rose is stuck on the meteor with Kanaya and separated from John for the next three years. However I strongly doubt that this is simply going to be the end of Rose’s romantic arc, or Kanaya’s for that matter. It’s too clean and too easy. Either they end up breaking up - temporarily or otherwise - or they simply never get together on the meteor to begin with. Either way for it to be at all meaningful Rose needs a fall-back interest. Kanaya has Vriska and possibly “Roxy” if things pan out as I expect, but there’s no woman for Rose to fall back onto, there’s just John.

So yes, Rose is almost definitely Bisexual.

Jade is heterosexual. I can just flat out state this one. This isn’t necessarily because she is however, it’s simply because it’s as far as she needs to be. Both of her love interests are male - Dave and Karkat - and she has no other romantic prospects, one-sided or otherwise.

Dave is either heterosexual or bisexual. He can’t be homosexual, the shipping math just falls apart if that’s the case. Chances are better then decent that he’s simply heterosexual, however there are hints that he may be more open then that. Nothing terribly overt however, for the most part it’s just an intricate web of suppositions and “What-If” ideas. Postulating that Gamzee may have developed some form of blackrom crush on Dave as a result of the ICP video. Noting some of the subject matter in SBAHJ, Dave’s Comic and a look into his subconscious.

So yeah, Dave is probably heterosexual, although if Hussie wants to go that way he may end up bisexual. Not very likely however.

Jane looks to be heterosexual but until the act takes on a more defined shape - and the romantic arcs in particular - making a legitimate call as to the outcome will be pretty much impossible. Decent chance she’s straight, but the undeniable possibility of a curve ball.

“Roxy” is attracted to men, this much is definite. However it’s virtually impossible to determine if she’s attracted to women as well. Her entire shipping diagram is a mess of mystery. There’s absolutely no telling what will happen here. Heterosexual or Bisexual, it’s all I can say, can’t even say which is more likely.

Vex.

Vex vex vexy vexian vexacious vexer vex.

Just cause im druuugged doesnt mean I cant rant here about shiiiping

ANYWAY the statment that “Kanaya and Rose is the weakest of the canonical relationships” is just flatout wrong. If anything its almost as strong as John/Vriska at this point in the story.

Up until recently we knew Kanaya has a a pretty heavy handed crush on Rose. She tried to avoid falling into the same pitfalls as she did with Vriska, but even then she started obsessing over Rose after a while in teh story, to the point when she beat up two and killed one of her fellow trolls she went RIGHT back to staring at Rose’s grimdark turn.

The only thing keeping this relationship from fully support is Rose. Rose and Dave basically never are direct about their feelings so its difficult to discern if Rose has any attraction to Kanaya. Until the meteor that is.

Rose specifically tries the hardest to get Kanaya to come along with them on the journey. Her line about the color of her shirt and Kanaya’s light is probably the most suggestive subtext, as a traffic cone is reflective and would require the two to be near each other at all times. Karkat Lampshades this RIGHT afterwards.

If I were to come up with anything else to support the relation, it would have to be “dick’s” sexual orientation which is VERY suggested to be gay. Other than obvious subtext, “Roxy” even calls him an “ineligible bachelor”. Jake is offlimits to her because she basically ships Jake and Jane. But why would “Dick” be offlimits? The most likely answer would be to sexual orientation.

As boots pointed out, if one of the alphaSburb kids is gay, then theres a high chance of parallelism and one of the betaSburb kids are gay as well. The most likely candidates are Rose and Dave, with Rose having the only canonically gay relationship.

You made like 30 rants about subtext and implicit statements man how do you miss the most implicit and subtextual statments of all?

Lakobie I’m going to ask you not to Tumblr after huffing Laughing Gas.

I said that Rose/Kanaya is the weakest of the Patron Ships, which it absolutely is.

John/Vriska is everything but confirmed. Vriska fell horns over heels for the derp, John wants to d8 her, the only problem holding them back right now is a mild case of deadness.

Jade/Karkat is so astonishingly blatant it’s hard to miss. Karkat literally cannot stop thinking about Jade, nor can he hide this fact. There is also the fact that Karkat never got to say what he wanted to, and given the context of the scene and their relationship it’s very possible that he wanted to confess FEELINGS to her.

Dave/Terezi isn’t as clear as the Romances of the Derp Twins, I will grant this. However it does remain quite clear. Dave likes Terezi a lot, he felt betrayed when she killed his alternative self. Terezi likes Dave enough to go crying off into the sunset after he rejected her for the aforementioned betrayal. It’s not obviously romantic but it is enough. Particularly when one takes into account the fact that Karkat thought that she was flirting with Dave to bother him. Something that is both correct and incorrect.

By contrast Kanaya has a similar feel to it as Jade/Karkat at the moment. Kanaya’s feelings are all too obvious, at least to us the reader. But there are two immensely stark differences between the two. The first is that Kanaya hasn’t made any sort of reveal to Rose as to her feelings or her intentions.

The second is Rose’s “Message in a Cool!Kid” to John. We still don’t know what she wanted to say and it’s quite similar to the Jade/Karkat relationship in this sense in that it could easily be a romantic sentiment. Of course it could also be a platonic sentiment. I personally see the idea of it being a romantic sentiment as more likely, although it’s rather subjective at the moment.

What we can be sure of however is that it was not a rejection. It would simply make no sense for Rose’s - potentially final - message to John to be anything of that sort. Not when she expects death to be a possibility therefore rendering any such sentiment to be ultimately irrelevant.

But yes, admittedly neither of the Kids’ Ships have all that much substance at the moment, for the most part just a significant amount of fondness and the occasional ship-teasing pesterlog. This doesn’t confirm anything, but it also doesn’t rule anything out.

But yes, at the moment I do consider the Meta-Reason of not wanting to wrap up the romantic arcs so damn easily, combined with the Rose’s hanging plot thread with John to be sufficient to say that John/Rose is stronger then Rose/Kanaya.

Hmmm instill dunnoooo. I’ve always felt that jade is acTually The kid who shows the least amount of romantic subtext to her potential pairings. Rose on the other hand quickly became almost like a menTor to kanaya and as i pointed out from the meteor there’s a great deal of subtext there. I’m in too much pain/drugged to go over it all but maybe u can ask boots

Re: Rose x Kanaya

Nepeta ships them and Karkat and Sollux agree that they’re flirting. I didn’t say Rose and Kanaya are guaranteed to become an official couple and live happily ever after, I was trying to say that they’re closest to official couple status as of the end of the intermission, and that we still don’t know if it’s going to happen (we don’t even know if Hussie’s made up his mind). “Nearly married” was hyperbole, chosen specifically to contrast against the statement that we don’t even know if Rose is attracted to women in order to emphasize how Hussie has not made a habit of nailing down characters’ sexual orientations. While I’m pretty sure that some of the romantic arcs aren’t going to get resolved until Act 7, I wouldn’t be surprized if some of them got resolved a lot sooner. Also, becoming an established couple would play into Homestuck’s “growing up” theme, change a pairing’s relationship dynamic, get the “will they or won’t they” question out of the way and allow their personal storylines to focus on other things. For example if Rose and Kanaya come out of the timeskip as an established couple (or bffsies, palemates4LYFE or whatever, as long as it’s a stable, long-term relationship dynamic), Rose’s storyline could focus more heavily on working through her various issues, while Kanaya’s storyline could focus more on the matriorb, her self-esteem, rainbow drinker problems, her growth as a Sylph of Space and her other quadrants.

Re: Bro x Jake

Yes, Jake is indeed 100% confirmed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. So’s pretty much everyone on Torchwood. When Jane accidentally said something sugestive to Jake, his reaction was pretty much “That sounds so hot I’m getting kind of embarrassed.”, then she corrected him, clarifying that she wasn’t trying to flirt and it wasn’t that kind of dream. Neither Jane nor “Roxy” have sent Jake any cuddlebots or bombarded him with vulgar robot or puppet sex analogies which I’m pretty sure would be offputting to most straight women (It’s possible that “Dick” Strider is interested in women, “Roxy” Lalonde’s “so naive” and “ineligible bachelor” comments could refer to how she considers the whole creepy robot / puppet thing and / or his morbid sense of humour to be a deal breaker.).

That said, IMO, of all the major Homestuck characters, Jake’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed as exclusively straight and Bro’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed to be exclusively gay, but I don’t think that rules out the possibility of Bro x Jake or “Roxy” x Bro or pushes them into crackship territory, I just think it makes the pairings less likely than the frontrunners.

Re: Ambiguity and Schrödinger

Perhaps “inconclusive” would have been a better word choice than “ambiguous”, and I should probably clarify what I mean by “Schrödinger’s sexual orientation”. John, Kanaya and Karkat have firmly established sexual orientations, however there is more than enough wiggle room to establish Gamzee as either bi or exclusively gay, or to establish Aradia or Nepeta as either bi or exclusively straight.

If a character is implicitly straight or implicitly gay, I won’t ignore anything which might be contradictory subtext or foreshadowing because I don’t want to get blindsided by the next Ivy ♥ Harley or Willow ♥ Tara. That approach has worked fine for Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse, Doctor Who, Heroes and Glee, and I don’t see why I should abandon that approach for Homestuck and risk embarrassing myself like those people who thought Kanaya had a crush on Tavros.

Maybe Hussie’s decided on Jake’s sexual orientation like he has for Kanaya, John and Lord English, maybe he hasn’t, and will eventually go with whichever option he ultimately decides is most comedically and / or dramatically suitable. Maybe he’ll decide that the Bro ♥ Jake dynamic is funnier if the crush is completely one-sided, maybe he’ll decide it’s funnier with a Terezi ♥ Karkat, Nepeta ♥ Karkat or Gamzee ♥ Tavros dynamic, maybe he’ll decide that the funniest option is to troll everyone by throwing around Jake x Bro red herrings as the setup to a “not a homosexual” punchline in late Act 6, or by establishing that Bro’s the straight one and Jake’s the one with the unrequited crush (it’s pretty unlikely, but I guess that Bro’s flirtations could be retconned as Bro snarkily teasing Jake about his obvious and annoying unrequited crush, similar to how Dave scared off Tavros in this pesterlog).

Re: The diagram

I’m pretty sure none of those six characters are exclusively gay. I just don’t think that it’s been established beyond a reasonable doubt that any of them is exclusively straight. That said, there’s a difference between being bisexual and having viable love interests of both sexes, Karkat’s canonically bi, but hasn’t had any viable canon male love interests in either of his concupiscent quadrants.

TL:DR

I take a scattershot approach to plot speculation because I like to cover all my bases. If there’s a theory which is consistant with established canon and reasonably plausible, I’ll probably defend it. If I’m right, great, I can brag about how I called it. If I’m wrong, it’s no big deal, fan theories get jossed all the time. If a theory’s inconsistant with canon, I don’t have any problem poking holes in it, if I’m polite about it, there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll come off as nice and friendly because I’m pointing out aspects of canon other people may have missed. If people are treating fanon like actual canon, I might politely remind them that their theories aren’t canon, especially if fanon’s being used to argue against canon-compatible theories, it’s often a great opportunity for casual, friendly smartassery. If a theory’s plausible and inconsistant with canon but I dislike it, I might say I dislike it, I’ve been pretty vocal about my dislike of various sadstuck theories, but I generally won’t dismiss it as impossible because I don’t want to be one of those obnoxious fans who swing around their headcanons like they’re actual canon, and don’t want to risk the embarrassment of having argued against a theory which turned out to be canon (Unless the dismissal’s more along the lines of “I’m pretty sure the writers wouldn’t do that because it’s awful and they should know better”.).

> Resist urge to reblog.

You make a halfhearted attempt to resist the urge, the thread is just too hilarious in hindsight.

Anyway, in retrospect, it should’ve been obvious. There seems to be general consensus among the romspeccers that Gamzee ♥ Dirk is probably going to be one of the endgame pairings assuming neither of them gets killed off. However, considering Hussie’s track record, it’s fairly likely that there’s going to be a love triangle to preserve dramatic tension, which would mean one of them needs another viable love interest, and Hussie’s been building up the Dirk ♥ Jake arc since early Act 6. IMO the Jakestakes arc is going to end in a hilarious clusterfrak (figuratively speaking), and sinking of any ships involving Jake or his potential love interests is unlikely to happen prior to said clusterfrak.

(Source: unpopular-hs-opinions)

vexarian:

habeas-corvus:

Wasn’t Roxy bringing up Dirk’s sexuality to lament the fact that he wouldn’t be interested in her AKA a girl? I can’t be bothered to check now but I’m pretty sure that’s what was going on.

Dirk being bisexual sucks pretty much all of the meaning out of his situation.

It’s been implied that, while it would be reasonable accurate to describe Dirk as gay, it would not be entirely accurate. Dirk’s feelings toward Roxy could be interpreted as a platonic crush, and the Auto-Responder also seems to be attracted to her. IMO this is fairly strong evidence that they’re biromantic. If Vriska, Nepeta or Feferi returns via the soulbot route and Dirk ends up in a love triangle with her, I don’t think it would require any justification beyond the implicit “By “nuanced”, he meant “into dudes and robots”, she’s not a dude, but she is very much a robot.” (the same would apply to revival via puppetsprite or furrpsprite prototyping). As for Dirk having a non-platonic crush on a regular female troll, I guess it could be justified with an alien anatomy curveball (which, IMO, won’t happen unless Hussie decides that going into detail about troll anatomy is funnier than leaving things ambiguous).
TL;DR: Human sexuality, human affection and human romance can be really frakkin’ complicated, and some people don’t really fit into any of the standard categories. IMO Dirk being interested in non-platonic romance with any female character is unlikely, but far more plausible and far easier to justify than bi!John or bi!Kanaya.
As for Dirk being bi in fan works. Sure, why not? It’s even got the Dirk Strider seal of approval.

vexarian:

habeas-corvus:

Wasn’t Roxy bringing up Dirk’s sexuality to lament the fact that he wouldn’t be interested in her AKA a girl? I can’t be bothered to check now but I’m pretty sure that’s what was going on.

Dirk being bisexual sucks pretty much all of the meaning out of his situation.

It’s been implied that, while it would be reasonable accurate to describe Dirk as gay, it would not be entirely accurate. Dirk’s feelings toward Roxy could be interpreted as a platonic crush, and the Auto-Responder also seems to be attracted to her. IMO this is fairly strong evidence that they’re biromantic. If Vriska, Nepeta or Feferi returns via the soulbot route and Dirk ends up in a love triangle with her, I don’t think it would require any justification beyond the implicit “By “nuanced”, he meant “into dudes and robots”, she’s not a dude, but she is very much a robot.” (the same would apply to revival via puppetsprite or furrpsprite prototyping). As for Dirk having a non-platonic crush on a regular female troll, I guess it could be justified with an alien anatomy curveball (which, IMO, won’t happen unless Hussie decides that going into detail about troll anatomy is funnier than leaving things ambiguous).

TL;DR: Human sexuality, human affection and human romance can be really frakkin’ complicated, and some people don’t really fit into any of the standard categories. IMO Dirk being interested in non-platonic romance with any female character is unlikely, but far more plausible and far easier to justify than bi!John or bi!Kanaya.

As for Dirk being bi in fan works. Sure, why not? It’s even got the Dirk Strider seal of approval.

(Source: unpopular-hs-opinions)

vexarian:

jauntlivings:

So let’s use a character who has never expressed any romantic interest in Karkat, let alone another man - ever - to help spread the message that homosexuality doesn’t need a descriptor because it’s also just love. Good on you. You are fighting the travesty of justice that is Words That Are Used To Describe Factual States Of Being And Are In No Way Bigoted Offensive Oppressive Or Frivolous. Using a not-gay character paired with a character who only fostered temporary infatuation with him in an entirely alien romantic quadrant to herald this ideal doesn’t undermine what you’re saying at all, not even in the least.It’s  okay, you can do this, because apparently identifiers for things and  persuasions don’t mean anything at all. They’re null because your mother  told you.Gender does matter in attraction. It matters to me, personally, just about every single male I have met, Internet or not, a great number of females I’ve met, Internet or not, my parents, my parent’s parents, and on and on, my uncle’s family, my aunt’s family - all of their friends’ families and on and on and on and on. Gender does matter, and we do, as a species, so incredibly more often than not, fall in love with gender over person. Even if it’s because of biological instruction, it’s still a thing that happens overwhelmingly often.Personally, I could never, ever see myself in love with another man. I doubt my best friend would, I doubt the majority of my Internet friends would, I doubt any male I know would. Certainly personality matters, and I would hope that it is more of a decider in the matter than anything else when it comes to prospective relationships, but I’ve always found, in my life and in those closest to me, that the boundary of gender is something that has always been.Homosexuality is a descriptor. It describes a state of being.  We, as a species, use words to describe things, to communicate things,  and to expand our understanding of subjects and matters. It’s in our motherfucking nature and it’s global. As much as you  dislike it, or don’t want to use it, words and descriptions still apply.  They’re not faith-based. They don’t stop being just because  you decide not to use them or want to use them. They still exists, and  they will always describe something. That something doesn’t stop being  described just because you don’t regard it as worthwhile.Love is also a word, by the way.

This makes my eyes cross but I think I’ll just reblog it, nod sagely and call it a day.
I’m feeling too lazy right now to properly call the OP an idiot myself.

I blame the education system. I bet we’d get a lot less of this “Everyone’s bisexual / pansexual, most people are just closeted / repressed / in denial. WTF is romantic orientation?” bullshit (and a lot less of that “Everyone’s straight, some people are just confused / deluded / too sex-addicted to care.” bullshit) if more schools had comprehensive sex ed programs which actually taught kids about the difference between sexual orientation and affectional / romantic orientation.
You like Johnkat? Fine, making him bi and giving Karkat a flushed crush on him isn’t as big of a change as turning everyone into cops or wizards or circus performers or doing a species swap. But please don’t spew that discredited “sexual orientation isn’t a thing” bullshit, it makes you look like an idiot and plays into the extreme right’s sexuality erasing “people choose to be gay and they can choose not to be gay” narrative.

TL;DR: It’s okay to ship Johnkat, but don’t be a dick about it.

vexarian:

jauntlivings:

So let’s use a character who has never expressed any romantic interest in Karkat, let alone another man - ever - to help spread the message that homosexuality doesn’t need a descriptor because it’s also just love. Good on you. You are fighting the travesty of justice that is Words That Are Used To Describe Factual States Of Being And Are In No Way Bigoted Offensive Oppressive Or Frivolous. Using a not-gay character paired with a character who only fostered temporary infatuation with him in an entirely alien romantic quadrant to herald this ideal doesn’t undermine what you’re saying at all, not even in the least.

It’s okay, you can do this, because apparently identifiers for things and persuasions don’t mean anything at all. They’re null because your mother told you.

Gender does matter in attraction. It matters to me, personally, just about every single male I have met, Internet or not, a great number of females I’ve met, Internet or not, my parents, my parent’s parents, and on and on, my uncle’s family, my aunt’s family - all of their friends’ families and on and on and on and on. Gender does matter, and we do, as a species, so incredibly more often than not, fall in love with gender over person. Even if it’s because of biological instruction, it’s still a thing that happens overwhelmingly often.

Personally, I could never, ever see myself in love with another man. I doubt my best friend would, I doubt the majority of my Internet friends would, I doubt any male I know would. Certainly personality matters, and I would hope that it is more of a decider in the matter than anything else when it comes to prospective relationships, but I’ve always found, in my life and in those closest to me, that the boundary of gender is something that has always been.

Homosexuality is a descriptor. It describes a state of being. We, as a species, use words to describe things, to communicate things, and to expand our understanding of subjects and matters. It’s in our motherfucking nature and it’s global. As much as you dislike it, or don’t want to use it, words and descriptions still apply. They’re not faith-based. They don’t stop being just because you decide not to use them or want to use them. They still exists, and they will always describe something. That something doesn’t stop being described just because you don’t regard it as worthwhile.

Love is also a word, by the way.

This makes my eyes cross but I think I’ll just reblog it, nod sagely and call it a day.

I’m feeling too lazy right now to properly call the OP an idiot myself.

I blame the education system. I bet we’d get a lot less of this “Everyone’s bisexual / pansexual, most people are just closeted / repressed / in denial. WTF is romantic orientation?” bullshit (and a lot less of that “Everyone’s straight, some people are just confused / deluded / too sex-addicted to care.” bullshit) if more schools had comprehensive sex ed programs which actually taught kids about the difference between sexual orientation and affectional / romantic orientation.

You like Johnkat? Fine, making him bi and giving Karkat a flushed crush on him isn’t as big of a change as turning everyone into cops or wizards or circus performers or doing a species swap. But please don’t spew that discredited “sexual orientation isn’t a thing” bullshit, it makes you look like an idiot and plays into the extreme right’s sexuality erasing “people choose to be gay and they can choose not to be gay” narrative.

TL;DR: It’s okay to ship Johnkat, but don’t be a dick about it.

(Source: unpopular-hs-opinions)

meowgon:

spookysage:

lornemilee:

justaddmint:

jerrymojo2:

oh-my-godtier:

owlpellets:

twinmachines:

cognizes:

eddave:

ah

oh

what if you classified your sexuality with pokemon types
sexuality: steel/flying

i am so for that

sexuality: grass

sexuality: fire/fighting

Sexuality: Flying/Fire *winks*

Sexuality: Ghost.
=/

Sexuality: Psychic/Ghost oh bby

sexuality: bug/steel
ROWR

So I decided to make a compatibility chart.

So would type effectiveness multipliers translate to how well they get along, or how much they annoy eachother? Either way, I’m probably ice / dragon.

meowgon:

spookysage:

lornemilee:

justaddmint:

jerrymojo2:

oh-my-godtier:

owlpellets:

twinmachines:

cognizes:

eddave:

ah

oh

what if you classified your sexuality with pokemon types

sexuality: steel/flying

i am so for that

sexuality: grass

sexuality: fire/fighting

Sexuality: Flying/Fire *winks*

Sexuality: Ghost.

=/

Sexuality: Psychic/Ghost oh bby

sexuality: bug/steel

ROWR

So I decided to make a compatibility chart.

So would type effectiveness multipliers translate to how well they get along, or how much they annoy eachother? Either way, I’m probably ice / dragon.

(Source: boypart)

Anonymous asked: What part of that is bullshit? The part where human society has perhaps adopted/developed troll attitudes towards sexuality, or the part where that weakens your precious 100% heterosexual idea of Jake?

vexarian:

The idea that Jake is 100% heterosexual is in no way precious to me. It just happens to be a fucking fact.

It’s also not a fact that is in any way impacted by the Post-Scratch humans, this is because Jake, along with Jane, Roxy and Dirk were ALL CREATED IN THE PRE-SCRATCH UNIVERSE.

Even IF Humanity has undergone some sort of massive, cataclysmic upheaval in terms of their genetic, physiological and societal structure it would STILL be meaningless with relation to the kids because the kids WOULDN’T BE AFFECTED.

That’s really at the crux of the matter, I’ve been arguing that Dirk’s comments are likely only indicative toward Dirk and have minimal if any indication toward any grand changes in humanity.

This is because it’s the most conservative explanation and what Occam’s Razor tells us should be the correct one, barring new information.

However what you seem to think is equally if not more likely! is the idea that the Post Scratch Humans have experienced some sort of nigh cataclysmic alteration causing them to transition from a mainly heterosexual society into an almost exclusively bisexual society without any sort of sexual labeling and with related attitudes nearly indistinguishable from troll society.

This is bullshit.

And it’s bullshit because Sexuality IS NOT A CHOICE. For ANY of that to be true there has to be a mechanism to MAKE it true. And given that the Condesce wouldn’t be able to introduce some sort of grand campaign to simply encourage everyone to go bisexual that would mean individually altering if not every then humans and doing so in such a way as to affect all subsequent humans.

And if the Condesce has the resources to make deep biological alterations of this sort to a significant portion of humanity then her bullshit baking empire is utterly redundant.

The idea that humanity as a whole has adopted troll attitudes toward sexuality is bullshit, the idea that humanity has DEVELOPED troll attitudes toward sexuality is even more bullshit.

Even the idea that the only thing they’ve given up is the concept of labeling sexual orientations is bullshit, there’s no sane reason to give up the idea of labels if the concept still exists.

No, Gordon is just reaching because this is what he personally wants. I’ve noticed that about him, whenever he’s given the choice he always goes for the more “Socially Liberated”/”Social Justicey” option, even if it makes less sense.

Which is a shame really because he’s never struck me as that sort of dipshit.

Whoah, whoah, hold up there, you’re reading too far into this.

> GE: Take a couple days to write an essay clarifying your position.

First, Jake’s heterosexuality is not a fact. It’s a popular, plausible fanon theory which, a few days ago, seemed like it was probably correct, but it’s not canon. People used to think Rose was probably straight. People used to think Kanaya was probably straight. In these sorts of situations, I’d rather stay on the fence and try to give both sides a fair shake in case some new evidence (such as, say, Roxy and the Auto-Responder talking about Dirk like he’s a viable contender in the Jake English love tetrahedron) changes the context. Note how, earlier in this discussion, I argued that post-Scratch society not giving a fuck about sexual orientation torpedoes that whole “If Jake was straight, why wouldn’t he just tell Dirk to shoot him down?” argument.

However what you seem to think is equally if not more likely! is the idea that the Post Scratch Humans have experienced some sort of nigh cataclysmic alteration causing them to transition from a mainly heterosexual society into an almost exclusively bisexual society without any sort of sexual labeling and with related attitudes nearly indistinguishable from troll society.

This is bullshit.

Yes, it’s pretty unlikely, and I didn’t mean to imply that I agreed with that theory, I should’ve been clearer, I’m guessing that the first time I reblogged it, I probably declined to comment on that part because I disagreed with it, but it seemed more like idle musing than a well thought out, central part of the theory, and I didn’t want to get into an argument, and the second time, I probably just skimmed over the original post since I had already read it earlier and remembered the gist of it. I’m arguing for a gradual transition from a mainly heterosexual society which makes a big deal about sexual orientation to a mainly heterosexual society which doesn’t make a big deal about sexual orientation. I’m arguing that tweaks by the Condesce to make post-Scratch Earth more like home might’ve been enough to make attitudes toward sexuality change a generation or two earlier than they did IRL. In retrospect, “binormative naive” may have been a poor choice of words, I meant that, in a society which does not make a big deal about sexual orientation and does not constantly remind everyone that most people are straight, it’s plausible that someone who is bisexual could forget that most people aren’t.

Even the idea that the only thing they’ve given up is the concept of labeling sexual orientations is bullshit, there’s no sane reason to give up the idea of labels if the concept still exists.

I’m imagining something reminiscent of clumsy, tone-deaf nineties political correctness. My current headcanon is that the younger generation is averse to using sexual orientation terminology and uncomfortable talking about sexual orientation because they see making a big deal about sexual orientation as an uncool thing old people do, so they tend to avoid the topic when possible, and tend to prefer hinting to spelling it out. I imagine that attitudes like Anderson Cooper’s “none of your damn business” or James Franco’s “maybe I am, maybe I’m not” are more common and most younger people don’t see their sexual orientations as major parts of their identities. In another decade or two, they’d probably stop pretending the concept doesn’t exist and get over their label aversion, much like how people IRL got over tone-deaf nineties political correctness.

No, Gordon is just reaching because this is what he personally wants. I’ve noticed that about him, whenever he’s given the choice he always goes for the more “Socially Liberated”/”Social Justicey” option, even if it makes less sense.

For a member of my generation, I’m pretty liberal by Canadian standards, and probably fairly liberal even by Scandinavian standards. I also tend to be disgusted when people fighting for a good cause shoot themselves in the foot with anti-intellectualism, essentialist bullshit, divisive identity politics or bullying (or, worse yet, when people highjack a good cause to push bad policies). I’ve also got a grudge against censorship, bullying and conservative pundits. I’m fond of fiction which focuses on liberal societies with little or no real world style bigotry, such as Star Trek, Futurama or Caprica. I’m also fond of fiction which portrays dystopian societies which have problems different enough from real world problems that they don’t hit too close to home, such as Farscape, Babylon 5, Doctor Who or Sliders. Alternian society fits into both categories.

I tend to favour interpretations which I find interesting or amusing, and tend to dislike interpretations which I find depressing, implausible or boring. Love triangles, secret crushes and awkward romances are interesting and amusing. A post-Scratch Earth which is pretty much a Xerox of pre-Scratch Earth with BCCorp and the post-Scratch guardians shoehorned in is boring. A post-Scratch Earth in which BCCorp’s meddling has changed things for better and worse is interesting, even if there are only vague hints about the differences, such as the mention of a multiglobal empire. Jake and Dirk preferring dolls or smuppets to human romantic partners is funnier and more interesting than canon. The Helmsman as a skilled pilot and NCO with plenty of free time to read, play video games, watch movies, chat on the internet and fill his quadrants between painful FTL jumps is more interesting and less depressing than the Helmsman as the sci-fi equivalent of a heavily whipped Hollywood galley slave. Humans and trolls trying to make pale, ashen or caliginous relationships work is funnier and more interesting than sticking to human romance, and success is funnier and more interesting than failure.

I generally don’t become strongly invested in specific headcanons. Sometimes I’m fond of two or more mutually exclusive interpretations and go with whichever option’s funnier or more interesting in a given situation, or interpret something both ways because they’re both hilarious (Lol, what if Equius is deliberately messing with people? Lol, what if he’s completely oblivious to his own creepiness?). It’s currently part of my headcanon that the Condesce tweaked things on Earth to make it feel more like home. This means fighting against sexism and homophobia. But it could also mean that she torpedoed the Americans With Disabilities Act, supported imperialism, expanded the draft and packed the courts with entertaining celebrities with no legal backgrounds. Maybe America never pulled out of the Phillipines. Maybe it’s still legal to keep slaves as long as they aren’t American citizens. Maybe there are some really nasty stereotypes about people with lowblood eye colours like Dave and Dirk. Maybe BCCorp has dystopian offworld colonies. Maybe America’s involved in over a dozen colonial wars throughout the world.

vexarian:

gordonecker:

snazzycookies:

kobacake:

what i got out of this exchange is that, yes, dirk likes guys, but he doesn’t like the word ‘gay’ because it’s outdated. as in, it was once a thing that was used but society has since changed so that it’s no longer applicable.
to me this seems a lot like in the world they’re living in, sexuality isn’t really that big of a deal? it’s kind of obvious already from the existence of the batterwitch (who it seems very likely could be the condesce) and the monsters on jake’s island that their world has been influenced in some way by the troll’s dimension. maybe pansexuality is just the norm in their world (or at least has developed so that it’s the case, even if it wasn’t always).
in which case, dirk is actually just a lot like kanaya. as hussie has stated, kanaya only likes girls, but she’s not really a lesbian because that isn’t actually a thing in their world.

Exactly. This.

Interesting….
So it looks like on post-Scratch Earth, the LGBTQ movement won the culture wars before the Alpha Kids’ time.
It also looks like making a big deal about other people’s sexual orientations is somewhat rude, for reasons which should be obvious to people familiar with history. Maybe the post-Scratch Supreme Court ruled that Civil Rights Act of 1964 effectively legalized same-sex marriage and abrogated sodomy laws back in the sixties or seventies.
If Jake is straight, these cultural differences would explain why he didn’t just say it.
A lot of people interpreted “so naive” as Jane being straight and not being able to figure out that Bro’s gay. What if she isn’t heteronormative pre-Scratch Earth human naive, what if she’s binormative naive and tends to forget that monosexuality is a thing? Cotton candy just got a little bit more plausible.
Could Dirk’s comments be implying that he’s not “vanilla gay”? Perhaps he’s a 5 on the Kinsey scale. Perhaps he’s a biromantic androsexual who’s in love with Roxy and wants to be her platonic life partner or bffsy or palemate4LYFE or something. Maybe he’s had crushes on real or fictional non-cis guys.

A lot of people are extrapolating a lot of bullshit out of this.
The only thing that this log really tells us is that Dirk gives approximately no fucks about his sexual orientation. If this is exclusive to him or part of a broader societal movement is uncertain. I think it’s unlikely however given that Roxy has no problem making a big deal out of it, nor Jake for that matter.
And is it really so hard to believe someone would give precisely zero fucks about their own/their friend’s sexual orientation? Jake notwithstanding due to discomfort at being a target of said sexual orientation.
Incidentally Jake’s lack of loud, explicit proclamations regarding his own sexual orientation is easily explained by the fact that this is blatantly not the first time the subject has come up, as well as the meta-reasoning of the “Official Reveal” not having happened yet.

It’s also pretty clear that he considers Roxy’s terminology and labelling uncool and archaic. He specifically refers to the world’s attitudes toward sexual orientation have changing a lot, and that these changes were far enough back that Dirk chastized Roxy for being unfamiliar with history, not current events, with the implication that. This pesterlog didn’t happen in a vacuum, many of the differences between pre-Scratch and post-Scratch Earth involve the world being more similar to Alternia and / or more futuristic.
Anyway, if the “mainstream 21st century post-Scratch western society doesn’t give a fuck about sexual orientation anymore” theory is correct, it has some implications for romspec and shipping….
It would weaken the “If Jake was straight, he’d probably just say it and shoot down Dirk for good.” argument.
It would weaken the “Jane ships Roxy with Dirk because she’s straight and hasn’t considered the possibility that Dirk might not be.” argument.
The way Dirk’s sexual orientation was established leaves open the possibility of Dirk having an awkward crush on Jane based on her personality despite not finding her even remotely attractive. It also leaves open the possibility of a conciliatory relationship a female character. It might mean that he has an awkward crush on Jane based on her personality despite not finding her even remotely physically attractive. It also leaves a bit of wiggle room for the remote possibility of Jake ending up with a female troll (or a hypothetical non-cis UU) without it being character derailing bullshit (IMO the most plausible Dirk x ♀ concupiscent pairing is Dirk ♠ Terezi due to their overlapping interests and themes).
Also, it’s pretty clear that Dirk has some sort of strong feelings for Roxy and doesn’t like her dismissing their relationship because he doesn’t have the hots for her.

vexarian:

gordonecker:

snazzycookies:

kobacake:

what i got out of this exchange is that, yes, dirk likes guys, but he doesn’t like the word ‘gay’ because it’s outdated. as in, it was once a thing that was used but society has since changed so that it’s no longer applicable.

to me this seems a lot like in the world they’re living in, sexuality isn’t really that big of a deal? it’s kind of obvious already from the existence of the batterwitch (who it seems very likely could be the condesce) and the monsters on jake’s island that their world has been influenced in some way by the troll’s dimension. maybe pansexuality is just the norm in their world (or at least has developed so that it’s the case, even if it wasn’t always).

in which case, dirk is actually just a lot like kanaya. as hussie has stated, kanaya only likes girls, but she’s not really a lesbian because that isn’t actually a thing in their world.

Exactly. This.

Interesting….

  • So it looks like on post-Scratch Earth, the LGBTQ movement won the culture wars before the Alpha Kids’ time.
  • It also looks like making a big deal about other people’s sexual orientations is somewhat rude, for reasons which should be obvious to people familiar with history. Maybe the post-Scratch Supreme Court ruled that Civil Rights Act of 1964 effectively legalized same-sex marriage and abrogated sodomy laws back in the sixties or seventies.
  • If Jake is straight, these cultural differences would explain why he didn’t just say it.
  • A lot of people interpreted “so naive” as Jane being straight and not being able to figure out that Bro’s gay. What if she isn’t heteronormative pre-Scratch Earth human naive, what if she’s binormative naive and tends to forget that monosexuality is a thing? Cotton candy just got a little bit more plausible.
  • Could Dirk’s comments be implying that he’s not “vanilla gay”? Perhaps he’s a 5 on the Kinsey scale. Perhaps he’s a biromantic androsexual who’s in love with Roxy and wants to be her platonic life partner or bffsy or palemate4LYFE or something. Maybe he’s had crushes on real or fictional non-cis guys.

A lot of people are extrapolating a lot of bullshit out of this.

The only thing that this log really tells us is that Dirk gives approximately no fucks about his sexual orientation. If this is exclusive to him or part of a broader societal movement is uncertain. I think it’s unlikely however given that Roxy has no problem making a big deal out of it, nor Jake for that matter.

And is it really so hard to believe someone would give precisely zero fucks about their own/their friend’s sexual orientation? Jake notwithstanding due to discomfort at being a target of said sexual orientation.

Incidentally Jake’s lack of loud, explicit proclamations regarding his own sexual orientation is easily explained by the fact that this is blatantly not the first time the subject has come up, as well as the meta-reasoning of the “Official Reveal” not having happened yet.

It’s also pretty clear that he considers Roxy’s terminology and labelling uncool and archaic. He specifically refers to the world’s attitudes toward sexual orientation have changing a lot, and that these changes were far enough back that Dirk chastized Roxy for being unfamiliar with history, not current events, with the implication that. This pesterlog didn’t happen in a vacuum, many of the differences between pre-Scratch and post-Scratch Earth involve the world being more similar to Alternia and / or more futuristic.

Anyway, if the “mainstream 21st century post-Scratch western society doesn’t give a fuck about sexual orientation anymore” theory is correct, it has some implications for romspec and shipping….

  • It would weaken the “If Jake was straight, he’d probably just say it and shoot down Dirk for good.” argument.
  • It would weaken the “Jane ships Roxy with Dirk because she’s straight and hasn’t considered the possibility that Dirk might not be.” argument.

The way Dirk’s sexual orientation was established leaves open the possibility of Dirk having an awkward crush on Jane based on her personality despite not finding her even remotely attractive. It also leaves open the possibility of a conciliatory relationship a female character. It might mean that he has an awkward crush on Jane based on her personality despite not finding her even remotely physically attractive. It also leaves a bit of wiggle room for the remote possibility of Jake ending up with a female troll (or a hypothetical non-cis UU) without it being character derailing bullshit (IMO the most plausible Dirk x ♀ concupiscent pairing is Dirk ♠ Terezi due to their overlapping interests and themes).

Also, it’s pretty clear that Dirk has some sort of strong feelings for Roxy and doesn’t like her dismissing their relationship because he doesn’t have the hots for her.

(Source: jungobakoba)

snazzycookies:

kobacake:

what i got out of this exchange is that, yes, dirk likes guys, but he doesn’t like the word ‘gay’ because it’s outdated. as in, it was once a thing that was used but society has since changed so that it’s no longer applicable.
to me this seems a lot like in the world they’re living in, sexuality isn’t really that big of a deal? it’s kind of obvious already from the existence of the batterwitch (who it seems very likely could be the condesce) and the monsters on jake’s island that their world has been influenced in some way by the troll’s dimension. maybe pansexuality is just the norm in their world (or at least has developed so that it’s the case, even if it wasn’t always).
in which case, dirk is actually just a lot like kanaya. as hussie has stated, kanaya only likes girls, but she’s not really a lesbian because that isn’t actually a thing in their world.

Exactly. This.

Interesting….
So it looks like on post-Scratch Earth, the LGBTQ movement won the culture wars before the Alpha Kids’ time.
It also looks like making a big deal about other people’s sexual orientations is somewhat rude, for reasons which should be obvious to people familiar with history. Maybe the post-Scratch Supreme Court ruled that Civil Rights Act of 1964 effectively legalized same-sex marriage and abrogated sodomy laws back in the sixties or seventies.
If Jake is straight, these cultural differences would explain why he didn’t just say it.
A lot of people interpreted “so naive” as Jane being straight and not being able to figure out that Bro’s gay. What if she isn’t heteronormative pre-Scratch Earth human naive, what if she’s binormative naive and tends to forget that monosexuality is a thing? Cotton candy just got a little bit more plausible.
Could Dirk’s comments be implying that he’s not “vanilla gay”? Perhaps he’s a 5 on the Kinsey scale. Perhaps he’s a biromantic androsexual who’s in love with Roxy and wants to be her platonic life partner or bffsy or palemate4LYFE or something. Maybe he’s had crushes on real or fictional non-cis guys. Maybe he’s only attracted to human guys, but finds trolls of both sexes hot.

snazzycookies:

kobacake:

what i got out of this exchange is that, yes, dirk likes guys, but he doesn’t like the word ‘gay’ because it’s outdated. as in, it was once a thing that was used but society has since changed so that it’s no longer applicable.

to me this seems a lot like in the world they’re living in, sexuality isn’t really that big of a deal? it’s kind of obvious already from the existence of the batterwitch (who it seems very likely could be the condesce) and the monsters on jake’s island that their world has been influenced in some way by the troll’s dimension. maybe pansexuality is just the norm in their world (or at least has developed so that it’s the case, even if it wasn’t always).

in which case, dirk is actually just a lot like kanaya. as hussie has stated, kanaya only likes girls, but she’s not really a lesbian because that isn’t actually a thing in their world.

Exactly. This.

Interesting….

  • So it looks like on post-Scratch Earth, the LGBTQ movement won the culture wars before the Alpha Kids’ time.
  • It also looks like making a big deal about other people’s sexual orientations is somewhat rude, for reasons which should be obvious to people familiar with history. Maybe the post-Scratch Supreme Court ruled that Civil Rights Act of 1964 effectively legalized same-sex marriage and abrogated sodomy laws back in the sixties or seventies.
  • If Jake is straight, these cultural differences would explain why he didn’t just say it.
  • A lot of people interpreted “so naive” as Jane being straight and not being able to figure out that Bro’s gay. What if she isn’t heteronormative pre-Scratch Earth human naive, what if she’s binormative naive and tends to forget that monosexuality is a thing? Cotton candy just got a little bit more plausible.
  • Could Dirk’s comments be implying that he’s not “vanilla gay”? Perhaps he’s a 5 on the Kinsey scale. Perhaps he’s a biromantic androsexual who’s in love with Roxy and wants to be her platonic life partner or bffsy or palemate4LYFE or something. Maybe he’s had crushes on real or fictional non-cis guys. Maybe he’s only attracted to human guys, but finds trolls of both sexes hot.

(Source: jungobakoba, via kangaya)

lakobie:

vexarian:

lakobie:

vexarian:

gordonecker:

warwithouttears:

I don’t see why Jake shooting down one guy means that he can’t be attracted to any of them. And this ship makes more sense for people to leap on because Bro, at least, has been implied to be interested in Jake. It doesn’t mean it’ll be more than a one-sided crush, but it still makes more sense than most predictable main male character ships.

Is that the entire argument? That he’s almost certainly exclusively straight because he likes women and shot down one guy? That Jake English, a guy with an established tendancy to get shy and flustered in romantic situations, shot down Bro Strider, a guy with an establised tendancy to be extremely forthright in romantic situations, and an established tendancy to make people uncomfortable with that whole puppet thing? That’s like arguing that Tavros is probably straight because he dated Vriska, hit on Jade, shot down Gamzee and got scared off by Dave’s vulgar counter-trolling. Or arguing that Karkat (before his crush on Jade became canon) is probably exclusively gay because he keeps shooting down Terezi and Nepeta and has a canon hatecrush on John.
Also, I don’t think we should rule out the possibility that Andrew Hussie hasn’t planned out a romantic storyline for Jake, and is being deliberately ambiguous because he wants to keep his options open. We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.
TL:DR: this is still accurate….

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

>We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.
Gordon, what the fuck comic are you reading? Are you even reading the comic? Because it doesn’t sound like you’re reading the comic.
The relationship between Rose and Kanaya is easily the weakest of the four patron ships. I honestly don’t even think it’s as strong as the relationship between Rose and John. It wins by default not by any virtue of it’s own, and even then it’s victory is arguable.
Of course that aside, arguing that Jake’s sexual orientation is “Ambiguous” is positively moronic.
Jake’s attraction toward women is so obvious as to be outright undeniable. He has a fetish for blue skinned women and a kink for spider girls and has flirted - to some degree - with both Jane and “Roxy” Lalonde.
That last part is important. When informed that he had been featured in one of Jane’s dreams his immediate thought was romantically or sexually inclined as evidenced by his reaction. Also notable is the fact that he did NOT - and this is important - try to shun Jane or evade the subject.
With “Dick” however his reaction was precisely the opposite. Given the context of their conversations - particularly early in their first - it seems incredibly likely that “Dick” has propositioned Jake in the past and then been turned down. Notice how much Jake tries to stress the platonic nature of their relationship. He wouldn’t be this uncomfortable nor was he when a similar train of thought occurred to him with Jane. This means quite simply that we can rule out his discomfort being a simple byproduct of romantic/sexual thoughts and instead regard them as being specific to “Dick”. You know what the simplest answer to this is? Jake “is not a homosexual”.
Of course it’s not confirmed. There’s no smoking puppet ass for either of them. But to look at Jake’s interactions with Jane and “Roxy” and at his interactions with “Dick” and claim that his sexual orientation is ambiguous. Well that’s a fucking lie. The only real question is if you’re lying to yourself or if you’re lying to everyone else.

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

Wrong.
In the absence of overwhelming convincing evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.
I do like how you’re not questioning “Dick” and his theoretical homosexuality, being as that is just as “unconfirmed”.
Also as for that picture with Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, “Roxy” and “Jake” on it.
I’ve already addressed Jake pretty thoroughly. The only way for him to avoid the terrible curse of heterosexuality is by something that simply isn’t going to happen. It’s already impossible for him to be straight on gay, he’s interacted positively with Jane and “Roxy”, he has multiple girl-focused fetishes and kinks and his Beta!Counterpart is obviously interested in women. The “Gayest” he can possibly be is bisexual and even that is simply not going to happen. He’s already shot down “Dick” for reasons we can only assume are based on sexual incompatibility, for him to turn out to be bisexual he would have to first be closeted and convinced of his own sexual orientation. There’s no evidence of this and Homestuck… really isn’t that sort of story.
So Jake is straight. He’s attracted to women, he’s not attracted to men. End of story.
Rose’s canonical love interests are Kanaya and John. Obviously for there to be any sort of romantic tension both have to be plausible and possible for her to form a relationship with, making her bisexual by default. This is also the most likely to be her actual orientation, although there is an admittedly small probability of her turning out to be a strict lesbian and an even smaller probability of her turning out to be a strict heterosexual.
The only real issue here is that Rose is stuck on the meteor with Kanaya and separated from John for the next three years. However I strongly doubt that this is simply going to be the end of Rose’s romantic arc, or Kanaya’s for that matter. It’s too clean and too easy. Either they end up breaking up - temporarily or otherwise - or they simply never get together on the meteor to begin with. Either way for it to be at all meaningful Rose needs a fall-back interest. Kanaya has Vriska and possibly “Roxy” if things pan out as I expect, but there’s no woman for Rose to fall back onto, there’s just John.
So yes, Rose is almost definitely Bisexual.
Jade is heterosexual. I can just flat out state this one. This isn’t necessarily because she is however, it’s simply because it’s as far as she needs to be. Both of her love interests are male - Dave and Karkat - and she has no other romantic prospects, one-sided or otherwise.
Dave is either heterosexual or bisexual. He can’t be homosexual, the shipping math just falls apart if that’s the case. Chances are better then decent that he’s simply heterosexual, however there are hints that he may be more open then that. Nothing terribly overt however, for the most part it’s just an intricate web of suppositions and “What-If” ideas. Postulating that Gamzee may have developed some form of blackrom crush on Dave as a result of the ICP video. Noting some of the subject matter in SBAHJ, Dave’s Comic and a look into his subconscious.
So yeah, Dave is probably heterosexual, although if Hussie wants to go that way he may end up bisexual. Not very likely however.
Jane looks to be heterosexual but until the act takes on a more defined shape - and the romantic arcs in particular - making a legitimate call as to the outcome will be pretty much impossible. Decent chance she’s straight, but the undeniable possibility of a curve ball.
“Roxy” is attracted to men, this much is definite. However it’s virtually impossible to determine if she’s attracted to women as well. Her entire shipping diagram is a mess of mystery. There’s absolutely no telling what will happen here. Heterosexual or Bisexual, it’s all I can say, can’t even say which is more likely.

Vex.
Vex vex vexy vexian vexacious vexer vex.
Just cause im druuugged doesnt mean I cant rant here about shiiiping
ANYWAY the statment that “Kanaya and Rose is the weakest of the canonical relationships” is just flatout wrong. If anything its almost as strong as John/Vriska at this point in the story.
Up until recently we knew Kanaya has a a pretty heavy handed crush on Rose. She tried to avoid falling into the same pitfalls as she did with Vriska, but even then she started obsessing over Rose after a while in teh story, to the point when she beat up two and killed one of her fellow trolls she went RIGHT back to staring at Rose’s grimdark turn.
The only thing keeping this relationship from fully support is Rose. Rose and Dave basically never are direct about their feelings so its difficult to discern if Rose has any attraction to Kanaya. Until the meteor that is.
Rose specifically tries the hardest to get Kanaya to come along with them on the journey. Her line about the color of her shirt and Kanaya’s light is probably the most suggestive subtext, as a traffic cone is reflective and would require the two to be near each other at all times. Karkat Lampshades this RIGHT afterwards.
If I were to come up with anything else to support the relation, it would have to be “dick’s” sexual orientation which is VERY suggested to be gay. Other than obvious subtext, “Roxy” even calls him an “ineligible bachelor”. Jake is offlimits to her because she basically ships Jake and Jane. But why would “Dick” be offlimits? The most likely answer would be to sexual orientation.
As boots pointed out, if one of the alphaSburb kids is gay, then theres a high chance of parallelism and one of the betaSburb kids are gay as well. The most likely candidates are Rose and Dave, with Rose having the only canonically gay relationship.
You made like 30 rants about subtext and implicit statements man how do you miss the most implicit and subtextual statments of all?

Lakobie I’m going to ask you not to Tumblr after huffing Laughing Gas.
I said that Rose/Kanaya is the weakest of the Patron Ships, which it absolutely is.
John/Vriska is everything but confirmed. Vriska fell horns over heels for the derp, John wants to d8 her, the only problem holding them back right now is a mild case of deadness.
Jade/Karkat is so astonishingly blatant it’s hard to miss. Karkat literally cannot stop thinking about Jade, nor can he hide this fact. There is also the fact that Karkat never got to say what he wanted to, and given the context of the scene and their relationship it’s very possible that he wanted to confess FEELINGS to her.
Dave/Terezi isn’t as clear as the Romances of the Derp Twins, I will grant this. However it does remain quite clear. Dave likes Terezi a lot, he felt betrayed when she killed his alternative self. Terezi likes Dave enough to go crying off into the sunset after he rejected her for the aforementioned betrayal. It’s not obviously romantic but it is enough. Particularly when one takes into account the fact that Karkat thought that she was flirting with Dave to bother him. Something that is both correct and incorrect.
By contrast Kanaya has a similar feel to it as Jade/Karkat at the moment. Kanaya’s feelings are all too obvious, at least to us the reader. But there are two immensely stark differences between the two. The first is that Kanaya hasn’t made any sort of reveal to Rose as to her feelings or her intentions.
The second is Rose’s “Message in a Cool!Kid” to John. We still don’t know what she wanted to say and it’s quite similar to the Jade/Karkat relationship in this sense in that it could easily be a romantic sentiment. Of course it could also be a platonic sentiment. I personally see the idea of it being a romantic sentiment as more likely, although it’s rather subjective at the moment.
What we can be sure of however is that it was not a rejection. It would simply make no sense for Rose’s - potentially final - message to John to be anything of that sort. Not when she expects death to be a possibility therefore rendering any such sentiment to be ultimately irrelevant.
But yes, admittedly neither of the Kids’ Ships have all that much substance at the moment, for the most part just a significant amount of fondness and the occasional ship-teasing pesterlog. This doesn’t confirm anything, but it also doesn’t rule anything out.
But yes, at the moment I do consider the Meta-Reason of not wanting to wrap up the romantic arcs so damn easily, combined with the Rose’s hanging plot thread with John to be sufficient to say that John/Rose is stronger then Rose/Kanaya.

Hmmm instill dunnoooo. I’ve always felt that jade is acTually The kid who shows the least amount of romantic subtext to her potential pairings. Rose on the other hand quickly became almost like a menTor to kanaya and as i pointed out from the meteor there’s a great deal of subtext there. I’m in too much pain/drugged to go over it all but maybe u can ask boots
Re: Rose x Kanaya
Nepeta ships them and Karkat and Sollux agree that they’re flirting. I didn’t say Rose and Kanaya are guaranteed to become an official couple and live happily ever after, I was trying to say that they’re closest to official couple status as of the end of the intermission, and that we still don’t know if it’s going to happen (we don’t even know if Hussie’s made up his mind). “Nearly married” was hyperbole, chosen specifically to contrast against the statement that we don’t even know if Rose is attracted to women in order to emphasize how Hussie has not made a habit of nailing down characters’ sexual orientations. While I’m pretty sure that some of the romantic arcs aren’t going to get resolved until Act 7, I wouldn’t be surprized if some of them got resolved a lot sooner. Also, becoming an established couple would play into Homestuck’s “growing up” theme, change a pairing’s relationship dynamic, get the “will they or won’t they” question out of the way and allow their personal storylines to focus on other things. For example if Rose and Kanaya come out of the timeskip as an established couple (or bffsies, palemates4LYFE or whatever, as long as it’s a stable, long-term relationship dynamic), Rose’s storyline could focus more heavily on working through her various issues, while Kanaya’s storyline could focus more on the matriorb, her self-esteem, rainbow drinker problems, her growth as a Sylph of Space and her other quadrants.
Re: Bro x Jake
Yes, Jake is indeed 100% confirmed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. So’s pretty much everyone on Torchwood. When Jane accidentally said something sugestive to Jake, his reaction was pretty much “That sounds so hot I’m getting kind of embarrassed.”, then she corrected him, clarifying that she wasn’t trying to flirt and it wasn’t that kind of dream. Neither Jane nor “Roxy” have sent Jake any cuddlebots or bombarded him with vulgar robot or puppet sex analogies which I’m pretty sure would be offputting to most straight women (It’s possible that “Dick” Strider is interested in women, “Roxy” Lalonde’s “so naive” and “ineligible bachelor” comments could refer to how she considers the whole creepy robot / puppet thing and / or his morbid sense of humour to be a deal breaker.).
That said, IMO, of all the major Homestuck characters, Jake’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed as exclusively straight and Bro’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed to be exclusively gay, but I don’t think that rules out the possibility of Bro x Jake or “Roxy” x Bro or pushes them into crackship territory, I just think it makes the pairings less likely than the frontrunners.
Re: Ambiguity and Schrödinger
Perhaps “inconclusive” would have been a better word choice than “ambiguous”, and I should probably clarify what I mean by “Schrödinger’s sexual orientation”. John, Kanaya and Karkat have firmly established sexual orientations, however there is more than enough wiggle room to establish Gamzee as either bi or exclusively gay, or to establish Aradia or Nepeta as either bi or exclusively straight.
If a character is implicitly straight or implicitly gay, I won’t ignore anything which might be contradictory subtext or foreshadowing because I don’t want to get blindsided by the next Ivy ♥ Harley or Willow ♥ Tara. That approach has worked fine for Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse, Doctor Who, Heroes and Glee, and I don’t see why I should abandon that approach for Homestuck and risk embarrassing myself like those people who thought Kanaya had a crush on Tavros.
Maybe Hussie’s decided on Jake’s sexual orientation like he has for Kanaya, John and Lord English, maybe he hasn’t, and will eventually go with whichever option he ultimately decides is most comedically and / or dramatically suitable. Maybe he’ll decide that the Bro ♥ Jake dynamic is funnier if the crush is completely one-sided, maybe he’ll decide it’s funnier with a Terezi ♥ Karkat, Nepeta ♥ Karkat or Gamzee ♥ Tavros dynamic, maybe he’ll decide that the funniest option is to troll everyone by throwing around Jake x Bro red herrings as the setup to a “not a homosexual” punchline in late Act 6, or by establishing that Bro’s the straight one and Jake’s the one with the unrequited crush (it’s pretty unlikely, but I guess that Bro’s flirtations could be retconned as Bro snarkily teasing Jake about his obvious and annoying unrequited crush, similar to how Dave scared off Tavros in this pesterlog).
Re: The diagram
I’m pretty sure none of those six characters are exclusively gay. I just don’t think that it’s been established beyond a reasonable doubt that any of them is exclusively straight. That said, there’s a difference between being bisexual and having viable love interests of both sexes, Karkat’s canonically bi, but hasn’t had any viable canon male love interests in either of his concupiscent quadrants.
TL:DR
I take a scattershot approach to plot speculation because I like to cover all my bases. If there’s a theory which is consistant with established canon and reasonably plausible, I’ll probably defend it. If I’m right, great, I can brag about how I called it. If I’m wrong, it’s no big deal, fan theories get jossed all the time. If a theory’s inconsistant with canon, I don’t have any problem poking holes in it, if I’m polite about it, there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll come off as nice and friendly because I’m pointing out aspects of canon other people may have missed. If people are treating fanon like actual canon, I might politely remind them that their theories aren’t canon, especially if fanon’s being used to argue against canon-compatible theories, it’s often a great opportunity for casual, friendly smartassery. If a theory’s plausible and inconsistant with canon but I dislike it, I might say I dislike it, I’ve been pretty vocal about my dislike of various sadstuck theories, but I generally won’t dismiss it as impossible because I don’t want to be one of those obnoxious fans who swing around their headcanons like they’re actual canon, and don’t want to risk the embarrassment of having argued against a theory which turned out to be canon (Unless the dismissal’s more along the lines of “I’m pretty sure the writers wouldn’t do that because it’s awful and they should know better”.).

lakobie:

vexarian:

lakobie:

vexarian:

gordonecker:

warwithouttears:

I don’t see why Jake shooting down one guy means that he can’t be attracted to any of them. And this ship makes more sense for people to leap on because Bro, at least, has been implied to be interested in Jake. It doesn’t mean it’ll be more than a one-sided crush, but it still makes more sense than most predictable main male character ships.

Is that the entire argument? That he’s almost certainly exclusively straight because he likes women and shot down one guy? That Jake English, a guy with an established tendancy to get shy and flustered in romantic situations, shot down Bro Strider, a guy with an establised tendancy to be extremely forthright in romantic situations, and an established tendancy to make people uncomfortable with that whole puppet thing? That’s like arguing that Tavros is probably straight because he dated Vriska, hit on Jade, shot down Gamzee and got scared off by Dave’s vulgar counter-trolling. Or arguing that Karkat (before his crush on Jade became canon) is probably exclusively gay because he keeps shooting down Terezi and Nepeta and has a canon hatecrush on John.

Also, I don’t think we should rule out the possibility that Andrew Hussie hasn’t planned out a romantic storyline for Jake, and is being deliberately ambiguous because he wants to keep his options open. We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.

TL:DR: this is still accurate….

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

>We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.

Gordon, what the fuck comic are you reading? Are you even reading the comic? Because it doesn’t sound like you’re reading the comic.

The relationship between Rose and Kanaya is easily the weakest of the four patron ships. I honestly don’t even think it’s as strong as the relationship between Rose and John. It wins by default not by any virtue of it’s own, and even then it’s victory is arguable.

Of course that aside, arguing that Jake’s sexual orientation is “Ambiguous” is positively moronic.

Jake’s attraction toward women is so obvious as to be outright undeniable. He has a fetish for blue skinned women and a kink for spider girls and has flirted - to some degree - with both Jane and “Roxy” Lalonde.

That last part is important. When informed that he had been featured in one of Jane’s dreams his immediate thought was romantically or sexually inclined as evidenced by his reaction. Also notable is the fact that he did NOT - and this is important - try to shun Jane or evade the subject.

With “Dick” however his reaction was precisely the opposite. Given the context of their conversations - particularly early in their first - it seems incredibly likely that “Dick” has propositioned Jake in the past and then been turned down. Notice how much Jake tries to stress the platonic nature of their relationship. He wouldn’t be this uncomfortable nor was he when a similar train of thought occurred to him with Jane. This means quite simply that we can rule out his discomfort being a simple byproduct of romantic/sexual thoughts and instead regard them as being specific to “Dick”. You know what the simplest answer to this is? Jake “is not a homosexual”.

Of course it’s not confirmed. There’s no smoking puppet ass for either of them. But to look at Jake’s interactions with Jane and “Roxy” and at his interactions with “Dick” and claim that his sexual orientation is ambiguous. Well that’s a fucking lie. The only real question is if you’re lying to yourself or if you’re lying to everyone else.

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

Wrong.

In the absence of overwhelming convincing evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

I do like how you’re not questioning “Dick” and his theoretical homosexuality, being as that is just as “unconfirmed”.

Also as for that picture with Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, “Roxy” and “Jake” on it.

I’ve already addressed Jake pretty thoroughly. The only way for him to avoid the terrible curse of heterosexuality is by something that simply isn’t going to happen. It’s already impossible for him to be straight on gay, he’s interacted positively with Jane and “Roxy”, he has multiple girl-focused fetishes and kinks and his Beta!Counterpart is obviously interested in women. The “Gayest” he can possibly be is bisexual and even that is simply not going to happen. He’s already shot down “Dick” for reasons we can only assume are based on sexual incompatibility, for him to turn out to be bisexual he would have to first be closeted and convinced of his own sexual orientation. There’s no evidence of this and Homestuck… really isn’t that sort of story.

So Jake is straight. He’s attracted to women, he’s not attracted to men. End of story.

Rose’s canonical love interests are Kanaya and John. Obviously for there to be any sort of romantic tension both have to be plausible and possible for her to form a relationship with, making her bisexual by default. This is also the most likely to be her actual orientation, although there is an admittedly small probability of her turning out to be a strict lesbian and an even smaller probability of her turning out to be a strict heterosexual.

The only real issue here is that Rose is stuck on the meteor with Kanaya and separated from John for the next three years. However I strongly doubt that this is simply going to be the end of Rose’s romantic arc, or Kanaya’s for that matter. It’s too clean and too easy. Either they end up breaking up - temporarily or otherwise - or they simply never get together on the meteor to begin with. Either way for it to be at all meaningful Rose needs a fall-back interest. Kanaya has Vriska and possibly “Roxy” if things pan out as I expect, but there’s no woman for Rose to fall back onto, there’s just John.

So yes, Rose is almost definitely Bisexual.

Jade is heterosexual. I can just flat out state this one. This isn’t necessarily because she is however, it’s simply because it’s as far as she needs to be. Both of her love interests are male - Dave and Karkat - and she has no other romantic prospects, one-sided or otherwise.

Dave is either heterosexual or bisexual. He can’t be homosexual, the shipping math just falls apart if that’s the case. Chances are better then decent that he’s simply heterosexual, however there are hints that he may be more open then that. Nothing terribly overt however, for the most part it’s just an intricate web of suppositions and “What-If” ideas. Postulating that Gamzee may have developed some form of blackrom crush on Dave as a result of the ICP video. Noting some of the subject matter in SBAHJ, Dave’s Comic and a look into his subconscious.

So yeah, Dave is probably heterosexual, although if Hussie wants to go that way he may end up bisexual. Not very likely however.

Jane looks to be heterosexual but until the act takes on a more defined shape - and the romantic arcs in particular - making a legitimate call as to the outcome will be pretty much impossible. Decent chance she’s straight, but the undeniable possibility of a curve ball.

“Roxy” is attracted to men, this much is definite. However it’s virtually impossible to determine if she’s attracted to women as well. Her entire shipping diagram is a mess of mystery. There’s absolutely no telling what will happen here. Heterosexual or Bisexual, it’s all I can say, can’t even say which is more likely.

Vex.

Vex vex vexy vexian vexacious vexer vex.

Just cause im druuugged doesnt mean I cant rant here about shiiiping

ANYWAY the statment that “Kanaya and Rose is the weakest of the canonical relationships” is just flatout wrong. If anything its almost as strong as John/Vriska at this point in the story.

Up until recently we knew Kanaya has a a pretty heavy handed crush on Rose. She tried to avoid falling into the same pitfalls as she did with Vriska, but even then she started obsessing over Rose after a while in teh story, to the point when she beat up two and killed one of her fellow trolls she went RIGHT back to staring at Rose’s grimdark turn.

The only thing keeping this relationship from fully support is Rose. Rose and Dave basically never are direct about their feelings so its difficult to discern if Rose has any attraction to Kanaya. Until the meteor that is.

Rose specifically tries the hardest to get Kanaya to come along with them on the journey. Her line about the color of her shirt and Kanaya’s light is probably the most suggestive subtext, as a traffic cone is reflective and would require the two to be near each other at all times. Karkat Lampshades this RIGHT afterwards.

If I were to come up with anything else to support the relation, it would have to be “dick’s” sexual orientation which is VERY suggested to be gay. Other than obvious subtext, “Roxy” even calls him an “ineligible bachelor”. Jake is offlimits to her because she basically ships Jake and Jane. But why would “Dick” be offlimits? The most likely answer would be to sexual orientation.

As boots pointed out, if one of the alphaSburb kids is gay, then theres a high chance of parallelism and one of the betaSburb kids are gay as well. The most likely candidates are Rose and Dave, with Rose having the only canonically gay relationship.

You made like 30 rants about subtext and implicit statements man how do you miss the most implicit and subtextual statments of all?

Lakobie I’m going to ask you not to Tumblr after huffing Laughing Gas.

I said that Rose/Kanaya is the weakest of the Patron Ships, which it absolutely is.

John/Vriska is everything but confirmed. Vriska fell horns over heels for the derp, John wants to d8 her, the only problem holding them back right now is a mild case of deadness.

Jade/Karkat is so astonishingly blatant it’s hard to miss. Karkat literally cannot stop thinking about Jade, nor can he hide this fact. There is also the fact that Karkat never got to say what he wanted to, and given the context of the scene and their relationship it’s very possible that he wanted to confess FEELINGS to her.

Dave/Terezi isn’t as clear as the Romances of the Derp Twins, I will grant this. However it does remain quite clear. Dave likes Terezi a lot, he felt betrayed when she killed his alternative self. Terezi likes Dave enough to go crying off into the sunset after he rejected her for the aforementioned betrayal. It’s not obviously romantic but it is enough. Particularly when one takes into account the fact that Karkat thought that she was flirting with Dave to bother him. Something that is both correct and incorrect.

By contrast Kanaya has a similar feel to it as Jade/Karkat at the moment. Kanaya’s feelings are all too obvious, at least to us the reader. But there are two immensely stark differences between the two. The first is that Kanaya hasn’t made any sort of reveal to Rose as to her feelings or her intentions.

The second is Rose’s “Message in a Cool!Kid” to John. We still don’t know what she wanted to say and it’s quite similar to the Jade/Karkat relationship in this sense in that it could easily be a romantic sentiment. Of course it could also be a platonic sentiment. I personally see the idea of it being a romantic sentiment as more likely, although it’s rather subjective at the moment.

What we can be sure of however is that it was not a rejection. It would simply make no sense for Rose’s - potentially final - message to John to be anything of that sort. Not when she expects death to be a possibility therefore rendering any such sentiment to be ultimately irrelevant.

But yes, admittedly neither of the Kids’ Ships have all that much substance at the moment, for the most part just a significant amount of fondness and the occasional ship-teasing pesterlog. This doesn’t confirm anything, but it also doesn’t rule anything out.

But yes, at the moment I do consider the Meta-Reason of not wanting to wrap up the romantic arcs so damn easily, combined with the Rose’s hanging plot thread with John to be sufficient to say that John/Rose is stronger then Rose/Kanaya.

Hmmm instill dunnoooo. I’ve always felt that jade is acTually The kid who shows the least amount of romantic subtext to her potential pairings. Rose on the other hand quickly became almost like a menTor to kanaya and as i pointed out from the meteor there’s a great deal of subtext there. I’m in too much pain/drugged to go over it all but maybe u can ask boots

Re: Rose x Kanaya

Nepeta ships them and Karkat and Sollux agree that they’re flirting. I didn’t say Rose and Kanaya are guaranteed to become an official couple and live happily ever after, I was trying to say that they’re closest to official couple status as of the end of the intermission, and that we still don’t know if it’s going to happen (we don’t even know if Hussie’s made up his mind). “Nearly married” was hyperbole, chosen specifically to contrast against the statement that we don’t even know if Rose is attracted to women in order to emphasize how Hussie has not made a habit of nailing down characters’ sexual orientations. While I’m pretty sure that some of the romantic arcs aren’t going to get resolved until Act 7, I wouldn’t be surprized if some of them got resolved a lot sooner. Also, becoming an established couple would play into Homestuck’s “growing up” theme, change a pairing’s relationship dynamic, get the “will they or won’t they” question out of the way and allow their personal storylines to focus on other things. For example if Rose and Kanaya come out of the timeskip as an established couple (or bffsies, palemates4LYFE or whatever, as long as it’s a stable, long-term relationship dynamic), Rose’s storyline could focus more heavily on working through her various issues, while Kanaya’s storyline could focus more on the matriorb, her self-esteem, rainbow drinker problems, her growth as a Sylph of Space and her other quadrants.

Re: Bro x Jake

Yes, Jake is indeed 100% confirmed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. So’s pretty much everyone on Torchwood. When Jane accidentally said something sugestive to Jake, his reaction was pretty much “That sounds so hot I’m getting kind of embarrassed.”, then she corrected him, clarifying that she wasn’t trying to flirt and it wasn’t that kind of dream. Neither Jane nor “Roxy” have sent Jake any cuddlebots or bombarded him with vulgar robot or puppet sex analogies which I’m pretty sure would be offputting to most straight women (It’s possible that “Dick” Strider is interested in women, “Roxy” Lalonde’s “so naive” and “ineligible bachelor” comments could refer to how she considers the whole creepy robot / puppet thing and / or his morbid sense of humour to be a deal breaker.).

That said, IMO, of all the major Homestuck characters, Jake’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed as exclusively straight and Bro’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed to be exclusively gay, but I don’t think that rules out the possibility of Bro x Jake or “Roxy” x Bro or pushes them into crackship territory, I just think it makes the pairings less likely than the frontrunners.

Re: Ambiguity and Schrödinger

Perhaps “inconclusive” would have been a better word choice than “ambiguous”, and I should probably clarify what I mean by “Schrödinger’s sexual orientation”. John, Kanaya and Karkat have firmly established sexual orientations, however there is more than enough wiggle room to establish Gamzee as either bi or exclusively gay, or to establish Aradia or Nepeta as either bi or exclusively straight.

If a character is implicitly straight or implicitly gay, I won’t ignore anything which might be contradictory subtext or foreshadowing because I don’t want to get blindsided by the next Ivy ♥ Harley or Willow ♥ Tara. That approach has worked fine for Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse, Doctor Who, Heroes and Glee, and I don’t see why I should abandon that approach for Homestuck and risk embarrassing myself like those people who thought Kanaya had a crush on Tavros.

Maybe Hussie’s decided on Jake’s sexual orientation like he has for Kanaya, John and Lord English, maybe he hasn’t, and will eventually go with whichever option he ultimately decides is most comedically and / or dramatically suitable. Maybe he’ll decide that the Bro ♥ Jake dynamic is funnier if the crush is completely one-sided, maybe he’ll decide it’s funnier with a Terezi ♥ Karkat, Nepeta ♥ Karkat or Gamzee ♥ Tavros dynamic, maybe he’ll decide that the funniest option is to troll everyone by throwing around Jake x Bro red herrings as the setup to a “not a homosexual” punchline in late Act 6, or by establishing that Bro’s the straight one and Jake’s the one with the unrequited crush (it’s pretty unlikely, but I guess that Bro’s flirtations could be retconned as Bro snarkily teasing Jake about his obvious and annoying unrequited crush, similar to how Dave scared off Tavros in this pesterlog).

Re: The diagram

I’m pretty sure none of those six characters are exclusively gay. I just don’t think that it’s been established beyond a reasonable doubt that any of them is exclusively straight. That said, there’s a difference between being bisexual and having viable love interests of both sexes, Karkat’s canonically bi, but hasn’t had any viable canon male love interests in either of his concupiscent quadrants.

TL:DR

I take a scattershot approach to plot speculation because I like to cover all my bases. If there’s a theory which is consistant with established canon and reasonably plausible, I’ll probably defend it. If I’m right, great, I can brag about how I called it. If I’m wrong, it’s no big deal, fan theories get jossed all the time. If a theory’s inconsistant with canon, I don’t have any problem poking holes in it, if I’m polite about it, there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll come off as nice and friendly because I’m pointing out aspects of canon other people may have missed. If people are treating fanon like actual canon, I might politely remind them that their theories aren’t canon, especially if fanon’s being used to argue against canon-compatible theories, it’s often a great opportunity for casual, friendly smartassery. If a theory’s plausible and inconsistant with canon but I dislike it, I might say I dislike it, I’ve been pretty vocal about my dislike of various sadstuck theories, but I generally won’t dismiss it as impossible because I don’t want to be one of those obnoxious fans who swing around their headcanons like they’re actual canon, and don’t want to risk the embarrassment of having argued against a theory which turned out to be canon (Unless the dismissal’s more along the lines of “I’m pretty sure the writers wouldn’t do that because it’s awful and they should know better”.).

(Source: unpopular-hs-opinions)

warwithouttears:

I don’t see why Jake shooting down one guy means that he can’t be attracted to any of them. And this ship makes more sense for people to leap on because Bro, at least, has been implied to be interested in Jake. It doesn’t mean it’ll be more than a one-sided crush, but it still makes more sense than most predictable main male character ships.

Is that the entire argument? That he’s almost certainly exclusively straight because he likes women and shot down one guy? That Jake English, a guy with an established tendancy to get shy and flustered in romantic situations, shot down Bro Strider, a guy with an establised tendancy to be extremely forthright in romantic situations, and an established tendancy to make people uncomfortable with that whole puppet thing? That’s like arguing that Tavros is probably straight because he dated Vriska, hit on Jade, shot down Gamzee and got scared off by Dave’s vulgar counter-trolling. Or arguing that Karkat (before his crush on Jade became canon) is probably exclusively gay because he keeps shooting down Terezi and Nepeta and has a canon hatecrush on John.
Also, I don’t think we should rule out the possibility that Andrew Hussie hasn’t planned out a romantic storyline for Jake, and is being deliberately ambiguous because he wants to keep his options open. We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.
TL:DR: this is still accurate….

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

warwithouttears:

I don’t see why Jake shooting down one guy means that he can’t be attracted to any of them. And this ship makes more sense for people to leap on because Bro, at least, has been implied to be interested in Jake. It doesn’t mean it’ll be more than a one-sided crush, but it still makes more sense than most predictable main male character ships.

Is that the entire argument? That he’s almost certainly exclusively straight because he likes women and shot down one guy? That Jake English, a guy with an established tendancy to get shy and flustered in romantic situations, shot down Bro Strider, a guy with an establised tendancy to be extremely forthright in romantic situations, and an established tendancy to make people uncomfortable with that whole puppet thing? That’s like arguing that Tavros is probably straight because he dated Vriska, hit on Jade, shot down Gamzee and got scared off by Dave’s vulgar counter-trolling. Or arguing that Karkat (before his crush on Jade became canon) is probably exclusively gay because he keeps shooting down Terezi and Nepeta and has a canon hatecrush on John.

Also, I don’t think we should rule out the possibility that Andrew Hussie hasn’t planned out a romantic storyline for Jake, and is being deliberately ambiguous because he wants to keep his options open. We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.

TL:DR: this is still accurate….

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

(Source: unpopular-hs-opinions)