lakobie:

vexarian:

lakobie:

vexarian:

gordonecker:

warwithouttears:

I don’t see why Jake shooting down one guy means that he can’t be attracted to any of them. And this ship makes more sense for people to leap on because Bro, at least, has been implied to be interested in Jake. It doesn’t mean it’ll be more than a one-sided crush, but it still makes more sense than most predictable main male character ships.

Is that the entire argument? That he’s almost certainly exclusively straight because he likes women and shot down one guy? That Jake English, a guy with an established tendancy to get shy and flustered in romantic situations, shot down Bro Strider, a guy with an establised tendancy to be extremely forthright in romantic situations, and an established tendancy to make people uncomfortable with that whole puppet thing? That’s like arguing that Tavros is probably straight because he dated Vriska, hit on Jade, shot down Gamzee and got scared off by Dave’s vulgar counter-trolling. Or arguing that Karkat (before his crush on Jade became canon) is probably exclusively gay because he keeps shooting down Terezi and Nepeta and has a canon hatecrush on John.
Also, I don’t think we should rule out the possibility that Andrew Hussie hasn’t planned out a romantic storyline for Jake, and is being deliberately ambiguous because he wants to keep his options open. We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.
TL:DR: this is still accurate….

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

>We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.
Gordon, what the fuck comic are you reading? Are you even reading the comic? Because it doesn’t sound like you’re reading the comic.
The relationship between Rose and Kanaya is easily the weakest of the four patron ships. I honestly don’t even think it’s as strong as the relationship between Rose and John. It wins by default not by any virtue of it’s own, and even then it’s victory is arguable.
Of course that aside, arguing that Jake’s sexual orientation is “Ambiguous” is positively moronic.
Jake’s attraction toward women is so obvious as to be outright undeniable. He has a fetish for blue skinned women and a kink for spider girls and has flirted - to some degree - with both Jane and “Roxy” Lalonde.
That last part is important. When informed that he had been featured in one of Jane’s dreams his immediate thought was romantically or sexually inclined as evidenced by his reaction. Also notable is the fact that he did NOT - and this is important - try to shun Jane or evade the subject.
With “Dick” however his reaction was precisely the opposite. Given the context of their conversations - particularly early in their first - it seems incredibly likely that “Dick” has propositioned Jake in the past and then been turned down. Notice how much Jake tries to stress the platonic nature of their relationship. He wouldn’t be this uncomfortable nor was he when a similar train of thought occurred to him with Jane. This means quite simply that we can rule out his discomfort being a simple byproduct of romantic/sexual thoughts and instead regard them as being specific to “Dick”. You know what the simplest answer to this is? Jake “is not a homosexual”.
Of course it’s not confirmed. There’s no smoking puppet ass for either of them. But to look at Jake’s interactions with Jane and “Roxy” and at his interactions with “Dick” and claim that his sexual orientation is ambiguous. Well that’s a fucking lie. The only real question is if you’re lying to yourself or if you’re lying to everyone else.

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

Wrong.
In the absence of overwhelming convincing evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.
I do like how you’re not questioning “Dick” and his theoretical homosexuality, being as that is just as “unconfirmed”.
Also as for that picture with Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, “Roxy” and “Jake” on it.
I’ve already addressed Jake pretty thoroughly. The only way for him to avoid the terrible curse of heterosexuality is by something that simply isn’t going to happen. It’s already impossible for him to be straight on gay, he’s interacted positively with Jane and “Roxy”, he has multiple girl-focused fetishes and kinks and his Beta!Counterpart is obviously interested in women. The “Gayest” he can possibly be is bisexual and even that is simply not going to happen. He’s already shot down “Dick” for reasons we can only assume are based on sexual incompatibility, for him to turn out to be bisexual he would have to first be closeted and convinced of his own sexual orientation. There’s no evidence of this and Homestuck… really isn’t that sort of story.
So Jake is straight. He’s attracted to women, he’s not attracted to men. End of story.
Rose’s canonical love interests are Kanaya and John. Obviously for there to be any sort of romantic tension both have to be plausible and possible for her to form a relationship with, making her bisexual by default. This is also the most likely to be her actual orientation, although there is an admittedly small probability of her turning out to be a strict lesbian and an even smaller probability of her turning out to be a strict heterosexual.
The only real issue here is that Rose is stuck on the meteor with Kanaya and separated from John for the next three years. However I strongly doubt that this is simply going to be the end of Rose’s romantic arc, or Kanaya’s for that matter. It’s too clean and too easy. Either they end up breaking up - temporarily or otherwise - or they simply never get together on the meteor to begin with. Either way for it to be at all meaningful Rose needs a fall-back interest. Kanaya has Vriska and possibly “Roxy” if things pan out as I expect, but there’s no woman for Rose to fall back onto, there’s just John.
So yes, Rose is almost definitely Bisexual.
Jade is heterosexual. I can just flat out state this one. This isn’t necessarily because she is however, it’s simply because it’s as far as she needs to be. Both of her love interests are male - Dave and Karkat - and she has no other romantic prospects, one-sided or otherwise.
Dave is either heterosexual or bisexual. He can’t be homosexual, the shipping math just falls apart if that’s the case. Chances are better then decent that he’s simply heterosexual, however there are hints that he may be more open then that. Nothing terribly overt however, for the most part it’s just an intricate web of suppositions and “What-If” ideas. Postulating that Gamzee may have developed some form of blackrom crush on Dave as a result of the ICP video. Noting some of the subject matter in SBAHJ, Dave’s Comic and a look into his subconscious.
So yeah, Dave is probably heterosexual, although if Hussie wants to go that way he may end up bisexual. Not very likely however.
Jane looks to be heterosexual but until the act takes on a more defined shape - and the romantic arcs in particular - making a legitimate call as to the outcome will be pretty much impossible. Decent chance she’s straight, but the undeniable possibility of a curve ball.
“Roxy” is attracted to men, this much is definite. However it’s virtually impossible to determine if she’s attracted to women as well. Her entire shipping diagram is a mess of mystery. There’s absolutely no telling what will happen here. Heterosexual or Bisexual, it’s all I can say, can’t even say which is more likely.

Vex.
Vex vex vexy vexian vexacious vexer vex.
Just cause im druuugged doesnt mean I cant rant here about shiiiping
ANYWAY the statment that “Kanaya and Rose is the weakest of the canonical relationships” is just flatout wrong. If anything its almost as strong as John/Vriska at this point in the story.
Up until recently we knew Kanaya has a a pretty heavy handed crush on Rose. She tried to avoid falling into the same pitfalls as she did with Vriska, but even then she started obsessing over Rose after a while in teh story, to the point when she beat up two and killed one of her fellow trolls she went RIGHT back to staring at Rose’s grimdark turn.
The only thing keeping this relationship from fully support is Rose. Rose and Dave basically never are direct about their feelings so its difficult to discern if Rose has any attraction to Kanaya. Until the meteor that is.
Rose specifically tries the hardest to get Kanaya to come along with them on the journey. Her line about the color of her shirt and Kanaya’s light is probably the most suggestive subtext, as a traffic cone is reflective and would require the two to be near each other at all times. Karkat Lampshades this RIGHT afterwards.
If I were to come up with anything else to support the relation, it would have to be “dick’s” sexual orientation which is VERY suggested to be gay. Other than obvious subtext, “Roxy” even calls him an “ineligible bachelor”. Jake is offlimits to her because she basically ships Jake and Jane. But why would “Dick” be offlimits? The most likely answer would be to sexual orientation.
As boots pointed out, if one of the alphaSburb kids is gay, then theres a high chance of parallelism and one of the betaSburb kids are gay as well. The most likely candidates are Rose and Dave, with Rose having the only canonically gay relationship.
You made like 30 rants about subtext and implicit statements man how do you miss the most implicit and subtextual statments of all?

Lakobie I’m going to ask you not to Tumblr after huffing Laughing Gas.
I said that Rose/Kanaya is the weakest of the Patron Ships, which it absolutely is.
John/Vriska is everything but confirmed. Vriska fell horns over heels for the derp, John wants to d8 her, the only problem holding them back right now is a mild case of deadness.
Jade/Karkat is so astonishingly blatant it’s hard to miss. Karkat literally cannot stop thinking about Jade, nor can he hide this fact. There is also the fact that Karkat never got to say what he wanted to, and given the context of the scene and their relationship it’s very possible that he wanted to confess FEELINGS to her.
Dave/Terezi isn’t as clear as the Romances of the Derp Twins, I will grant this. However it does remain quite clear. Dave likes Terezi a lot, he felt betrayed when she killed his alternative self. Terezi likes Dave enough to go crying off into the sunset after he rejected her for the aforementioned betrayal. It’s not obviously romantic but it is enough. Particularly when one takes into account the fact that Karkat thought that she was flirting with Dave to bother him. Something that is both correct and incorrect.
By contrast Kanaya has a similar feel to it as Jade/Karkat at the moment. Kanaya’s feelings are all too obvious, at least to us the reader. But there are two immensely stark differences between the two. The first is that Kanaya hasn’t made any sort of reveal to Rose as to her feelings or her intentions.
The second is Rose’s “Message in a Cool!Kid” to John. We still don’t know what she wanted to say and it’s quite similar to the Jade/Karkat relationship in this sense in that it could easily be a romantic sentiment. Of course it could also be a platonic sentiment. I personally see the idea of it being a romantic sentiment as more likely, although it’s rather subjective at the moment.
What we can be sure of however is that it was not a rejection. It would simply make no sense for Rose’s - potentially final - message to John to be anything of that sort. Not when she expects death to be a possibility therefore rendering any such sentiment to be ultimately irrelevant.
But yes, admittedly neither of the Kids’ Ships have all that much substance at the moment, for the most part just a significant amount of fondness and the occasional ship-teasing pesterlog. This doesn’t confirm anything, but it also doesn’t rule anything out.
But yes, at the moment I do consider the Meta-Reason of not wanting to wrap up the romantic arcs so damn easily, combined with the Rose’s hanging plot thread with John to be sufficient to say that John/Rose is stronger then Rose/Kanaya.

Hmmm instill dunnoooo. I’ve always felt that jade is acTually The kid who shows the least amount of romantic subtext to her potential pairings. Rose on the other hand quickly became almost like a menTor to kanaya and as i pointed out from the meteor there’s a great deal of subtext there. I’m in too much pain/drugged to go over it all but maybe u can ask boots
Re: Rose x Kanaya
Nepeta ships them and Karkat and Sollux agree that they’re flirting. I didn’t say Rose and Kanaya are guaranteed to become an official couple and live happily ever after, I was trying to say that they’re closest to official couple status as of the end of the intermission, and that we still don’t know if it’s going to happen (we don’t even know if Hussie’s made up his mind). “Nearly married” was hyperbole, chosen specifically to contrast against the statement that we don’t even know if Rose is attracted to women in order to emphasize how Hussie has not made a habit of nailing down characters’ sexual orientations. While I’m pretty sure that some of the romantic arcs aren’t going to get resolved until Act 7, I wouldn’t be surprized if some of them got resolved a lot sooner. Also, becoming an established couple would play into Homestuck’s “growing up” theme, change a pairing’s relationship dynamic, get the “will they or won’t they” question out of the way and allow their personal storylines to focus on other things. For example if Rose and Kanaya come out of the timeskip as an established couple (or bffsies, palemates4LYFE or whatever, as long as it’s a stable, long-term relationship dynamic), Rose’s storyline could focus more heavily on working through her various issues, while Kanaya’s storyline could focus more on the matriorb, her self-esteem, rainbow drinker problems, her growth as a Sylph of Space and her other quadrants.
Re: Bro x Jake
Yes, Jake is indeed 100% confirmed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. So’s pretty much everyone on Torchwood. When Jane accidentally said something sugestive to Jake, his reaction was pretty much “That sounds so hot I’m getting kind of embarrassed.”, then she corrected him, clarifying that she wasn’t trying to flirt and it wasn’t that kind of dream. Neither Jane nor “Roxy” have sent Jake any cuddlebots or bombarded him with vulgar robot or puppet sex analogies which I’m pretty sure would be offputting to most straight women (It’s possible that “Dick” Strider is interested in women, “Roxy” Lalonde’s “so naive” and “ineligible bachelor” comments could refer to how she considers the whole creepy robot / puppet thing and / or his morbid sense of humour to be a deal breaker.).
That said, IMO, of all the major Homestuck characters, Jake’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed as exclusively straight and Bro’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed to be exclusively gay, but I don’t think that rules out the possibility of Bro x Jake or “Roxy” x Bro or pushes them into crackship territory, I just think it makes the pairings less likely than the frontrunners.
Re: Ambiguity and Schrödinger
Perhaps “inconclusive” would have been a better word choice than “ambiguous”, and I should probably clarify what I mean by “Schrödinger’s sexual orientation”. John, Kanaya and Karkat have firmly established sexual orientations, however there is more than enough wiggle room to establish Gamzee as either bi or exclusively gay, or to establish Aradia or Nepeta as either bi or exclusively straight.
If a character is implicitly straight or implicitly gay, I won’t ignore anything which might be contradictory subtext or foreshadowing because I don’t want to get blindsided by the next Ivy ♥ Harley or Willow ♥ Tara. That approach has worked fine for Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse, Doctor Who, Heroes and Glee, and I don’t see why I should abandon that approach for Homestuck and risk embarrassing myself like those people who thought Kanaya had a crush on Tavros.
Maybe Hussie’s decided on Jake’s sexual orientation like he has for Kanaya, John and Lord English, maybe he hasn’t, and will eventually go with whichever option he ultimately decides is most comedically and / or dramatically suitable. Maybe he’ll decide that the Bro ♥ Jake dynamic is funnier if the crush is completely one-sided, maybe he’ll decide it’s funnier with a Terezi ♥ Karkat, Nepeta ♥ Karkat or Gamzee ♥ Tavros dynamic, maybe he’ll decide that the funniest option is to troll everyone by throwing around Jake x Bro red herrings as the setup to a “not a homosexual” punchline in late Act 6, or by establishing that Bro’s the straight one and Jake’s the one with the unrequited crush (it’s pretty unlikely, but I guess that Bro’s flirtations could be retconned as Bro snarkily teasing Jake about his obvious and annoying unrequited crush, similar to how Dave scared off Tavros in this pesterlog).
Re: The diagram
I’m pretty sure none of those six characters are exclusively gay. I just don’t think that it’s been established beyond a reasonable doubt that any of them is exclusively straight. That said, there’s a difference between being bisexual and having viable love interests of both sexes, Karkat’s canonically bi, but hasn’t had any viable canon male love interests in either of his concupiscent quadrants.
TL:DR
I take a scattershot approach to plot speculation because I like to cover all my bases. If there’s a theory which is consistant with established canon and reasonably plausible, I’ll probably defend it. If I’m right, great, I can brag about how I called it. If I’m wrong, it’s no big deal, fan theories get jossed all the time. If a theory’s inconsistant with canon, I don’t have any problem poking holes in it, if I’m polite about it, there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll come off as nice and friendly because I’m pointing out aspects of canon other people may have missed. If people are treating fanon like actual canon, I might politely remind them that their theories aren’t canon, especially if fanon’s being used to argue against canon-compatible theories, it’s often a great opportunity for casual, friendly smartassery. If a theory’s plausible and inconsistant with canon but I dislike it, I might say I dislike it, I’ve been pretty vocal about my dislike of various sadstuck theories, but I generally won’t dismiss it as impossible because I don’t want to be one of those obnoxious fans who swing around their headcanons like they’re actual canon, and don’t want to risk the embarrassment of having argued against a theory which turned out to be canon (Unless the dismissal’s more along the lines of “I’m pretty sure the writers wouldn’t do that because it’s awful and they should know better”.).

lakobie:

vexarian:

lakobie:

vexarian:

gordonecker:

warwithouttears:

I don’t see why Jake shooting down one guy means that he can’t be attracted to any of them. And this ship makes more sense for people to leap on because Bro, at least, has been implied to be interested in Jake. It doesn’t mean it’ll be more than a one-sided crush, but it still makes more sense than most predictable main male character ships.

Is that the entire argument? That he’s almost certainly exclusively straight because he likes women and shot down one guy? That Jake English, a guy with an established tendancy to get shy and flustered in romantic situations, shot down Bro Strider, a guy with an establised tendancy to be extremely forthright in romantic situations, and an established tendancy to make people uncomfortable with that whole puppet thing? That’s like arguing that Tavros is probably straight because he dated Vriska, hit on Jade, shot down Gamzee and got scared off by Dave’s vulgar counter-trolling. Or arguing that Karkat (before his crush on Jade became canon) is probably exclusively gay because he keeps shooting down Terezi and Nepeta and has a canon hatecrush on John.

Also, I don’t think we should rule out the possibility that Andrew Hussie hasn’t planned out a romantic storyline for Jake, and is being deliberately ambiguous because he wants to keep his options open. We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.

TL:DR: this is still accurate….

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

>We don’t even know if Hussie’s decided on Rose’s sexual orientation and she’s nearly married to Kanaya.

Gordon, what the fuck comic are you reading? Are you even reading the comic? Because it doesn’t sound like you’re reading the comic.

The relationship between Rose and Kanaya is easily the weakest of the four patron ships. I honestly don’t even think it’s as strong as the relationship between Rose and John. It wins by default not by any virtue of it’s own, and even then it’s victory is arguable.

Of course that aside, arguing that Jake’s sexual orientation is “Ambiguous” is positively moronic.

Jake’s attraction toward women is so obvious as to be outright undeniable. He has a fetish for blue skinned women and a kink for spider girls and has flirted - to some degree - with both Jane and “Roxy” Lalonde.

That last part is important. When informed that he had been featured in one of Jane’s dreams his immediate thought was romantically or sexually inclined as evidenced by his reaction. Also notable is the fact that he did NOT - and this is important - try to shun Jane or evade the subject.

With “Dick” however his reaction was precisely the opposite. Given the context of their conversations - particularly early in their first - it seems incredibly likely that “Dick” has propositioned Jake in the past and then been turned down. Notice how much Jake tries to stress the platonic nature of their relationship. He wouldn’t be this uncomfortable nor was he when a similar train of thought occurred to him with Jane. This means quite simply that we can rule out his discomfort being a simple byproduct of romantic/sexual thoughts and instead regard them as being specific to “Dick”. You know what the simplest answer to this is? Jake “is not a homosexual”.

Of course it’s not confirmed. There’s no smoking puppet ass for either of them. But to look at Jake’s interactions with Jane and “Roxy” and at his interactions with “Dick” and claim that his sexual orientation is ambiguous. Well that’s a fucking lie. The only real question is if you’re lying to yourself or if you’re lying to everyone else.

Headcanon: In the absence of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

Wrong.

In the absence of overwhelming convincing evidence to the contrary, everyone has Schrödinger’s sexual orientation.

I do like how you’re not questioning “Dick” and his theoretical homosexuality, being as that is just as “unconfirmed”.

Also as for that picture with Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, “Roxy” and “Jake” on it.

I’ve already addressed Jake pretty thoroughly. The only way for him to avoid the terrible curse of heterosexuality is by something that simply isn’t going to happen. It’s already impossible for him to be straight on gay, he’s interacted positively with Jane and “Roxy”, he has multiple girl-focused fetishes and kinks and his Beta!Counterpart is obviously interested in women. The “Gayest” he can possibly be is bisexual and even that is simply not going to happen. He’s already shot down “Dick” for reasons we can only assume are based on sexual incompatibility, for him to turn out to be bisexual he would have to first be closeted and convinced of his own sexual orientation. There’s no evidence of this and Homestuck… really isn’t that sort of story.

So Jake is straight. He’s attracted to women, he’s not attracted to men. End of story.

Rose’s canonical love interests are Kanaya and John. Obviously for there to be any sort of romantic tension both have to be plausible and possible for her to form a relationship with, making her bisexual by default. This is also the most likely to be her actual orientation, although there is an admittedly small probability of her turning out to be a strict lesbian and an even smaller probability of her turning out to be a strict heterosexual.

The only real issue here is that Rose is stuck on the meteor with Kanaya and separated from John for the next three years. However I strongly doubt that this is simply going to be the end of Rose’s romantic arc, or Kanaya’s for that matter. It’s too clean and too easy. Either they end up breaking up - temporarily or otherwise - or they simply never get together on the meteor to begin with. Either way for it to be at all meaningful Rose needs a fall-back interest. Kanaya has Vriska and possibly “Roxy” if things pan out as I expect, but there’s no woman for Rose to fall back onto, there’s just John.

So yes, Rose is almost definitely Bisexual.

Jade is heterosexual. I can just flat out state this one. This isn’t necessarily because she is however, it’s simply because it’s as far as she needs to be. Both of her love interests are male - Dave and Karkat - and she has no other romantic prospects, one-sided or otherwise.

Dave is either heterosexual or bisexual. He can’t be homosexual, the shipping math just falls apart if that’s the case. Chances are better then decent that he’s simply heterosexual, however there are hints that he may be more open then that. Nothing terribly overt however, for the most part it’s just an intricate web of suppositions and “What-If” ideas. Postulating that Gamzee may have developed some form of blackrom crush on Dave as a result of the ICP video. Noting some of the subject matter in SBAHJ, Dave’s Comic and a look into his subconscious.

So yeah, Dave is probably heterosexual, although if Hussie wants to go that way he may end up bisexual. Not very likely however.

Jane looks to be heterosexual but until the act takes on a more defined shape - and the romantic arcs in particular - making a legitimate call as to the outcome will be pretty much impossible. Decent chance she’s straight, but the undeniable possibility of a curve ball.

“Roxy” is attracted to men, this much is definite. However it’s virtually impossible to determine if she’s attracted to women as well. Her entire shipping diagram is a mess of mystery. There’s absolutely no telling what will happen here. Heterosexual or Bisexual, it’s all I can say, can’t even say which is more likely.

Vex.

Vex vex vexy vexian vexacious vexer vex.

Just cause im druuugged doesnt mean I cant rant here about shiiiping

ANYWAY the statment that “Kanaya and Rose is the weakest of the canonical relationships” is just flatout wrong. If anything its almost as strong as John/Vriska at this point in the story.

Up until recently we knew Kanaya has a a pretty heavy handed crush on Rose. She tried to avoid falling into the same pitfalls as she did with Vriska, but even then she started obsessing over Rose after a while in teh story, to the point when she beat up two and killed one of her fellow trolls she went RIGHT back to staring at Rose’s grimdark turn.

The only thing keeping this relationship from fully support is Rose. Rose and Dave basically never are direct about their feelings so its difficult to discern if Rose has any attraction to Kanaya. Until the meteor that is.

Rose specifically tries the hardest to get Kanaya to come along with them on the journey. Her line about the color of her shirt and Kanaya’s light is probably the most suggestive subtext, as a traffic cone is reflective and would require the two to be near each other at all times. Karkat Lampshades this RIGHT afterwards.

If I were to come up with anything else to support the relation, it would have to be “dick’s” sexual orientation which is VERY suggested to be gay. Other than obvious subtext, “Roxy” even calls him an “ineligible bachelor”. Jake is offlimits to her because she basically ships Jake and Jane. But why would “Dick” be offlimits? The most likely answer would be to sexual orientation.

As boots pointed out, if one of the alphaSburb kids is gay, then theres a high chance of parallelism and one of the betaSburb kids are gay as well. The most likely candidates are Rose and Dave, with Rose having the only canonically gay relationship.

You made like 30 rants about subtext and implicit statements man how do you miss the most implicit and subtextual statments of all?

Lakobie I’m going to ask you not to Tumblr after huffing Laughing Gas.

I said that Rose/Kanaya is the weakest of the Patron Ships, which it absolutely is.

John/Vriska is everything but confirmed. Vriska fell horns over heels for the derp, John wants to d8 her, the only problem holding them back right now is a mild case of deadness.

Jade/Karkat is so astonishingly blatant it’s hard to miss. Karkat literally cannot stop thinking about Jade, nor can he hide this fact. There is also the fact that Karkat never got to say what he wanted to, and given the context of the scene and their relationship it’s very possible that he wanted to confess FEELINGS to her.

Dave/Terezi isn’t as clear as the Romances of the Derp Twins, I will grant this. However it does remain quite clear. Dave likes Terezi a lot, he felt betrayed when she killed his alternative self. Terezi likes Dave enough to go crying off into the sunset after he rejected her for the aforementioned betrayal. It’s not obviously romantic but it is enough. Particularly when one takes into account the fact that Karkat thought that she was flirting with Dave to bother him. Something that is both correct and incorrect.

By contrast Kanaya has a similar feel to it as Jade/Karkat at the moment. Kanaya’s feelings are all too obvious, at least to us the reader. But there are two immensely stark differences between the two. The first is that Kanaya hasn’t made any sort of reveal to Rose as to her feelings or her intentions.

The second is Rose’s “Message in a Cool!Kid” to John. We still don’t know what she wanted to say and it’s quite similar to the Jade/Karkat relationship in this sense in that it could easily be a romantic sentiment. Of course it could also be a platonic sentiment. I personally see the idea of it being a romantic sentiment as more likely, although it’s rather subjective at the moment.

What we can be sure of however is that it was not a rejection. It would simply make no sense for Rose’s - potentially final - message to John to be anything of that sort. Not when she expects death to be a possibility therefore rendering any such sentiment to be ultimately irrelevant.

But yes, admittedly neither of the Kids’ Ships have all that much substance at the moment, for the most part just a significant amount of fondness and the occasional ship-teasing pesterlog. This doesn’t confirm anything, but it also doesn’t rule anything out.

But yes, at the moment I do consider the Meta-Reason of not wanting to wrap up the romantic arcs so damn easily, combined with the Rose’s hanging plot thread with John to be sufficient to say that John/Rose is stronger then Rose/Kanaya.

Hmmm instill dunnoooo. I’ve always felt that jade is acTually The kid who shows the least amount of romantic subtext to her potential pairings. Rose on the other hand quickly became almost like a menTor to kanaya and as i pointed out from the meteor there’s a great deal of subtext there. I’m in too much pain/drugged to go over it all but maybe u can ask boots

Re: Rose x Kanaya

Nepeta ships them and Karkat and Sollux agree that they’re flirting. I didn’t say Rose and Kanaya are guaranteed to become an official couple and live happily ever after, I was trying to say that they’re closest to official couple status as of the end of the intermission, and that we still don’t know if it’s going to happen (we don’t even know if Hussie’s made up his mind). “Nearly married” was hyperbole, chosen specifically to contrast against the statement that we don’t even know if Rose is attracted to women in order to emphasize how Hussie has not made a habit of nailing down characters’ sexual orientations. While I’m pretty sure that some of the romantic arcs aren’t going to get resolved until Act 7, I wouldn’t be surprized if some of them got resolved a lot sooner. Also, becoming an established couple would play into Homestuck’s “growing up” theme, change a pairing’s relationship dynamic, get the “will they or won’t they” question out of the way and allow their personal storylines to focus on other things. For example if Rose and Kanaya come out of the timeskip as an established couple (or bffsies, palemates4LYFE or whatever, as long as it’s a stable, long-term relationship dynamic), Rose’s storyline could focus more heavily on working through her various issues, while Kanaya’s storyline could focus more on the matriorb, her self-esteem, rainbow drinker problems, her growth as a Sylph of Space and her other quadrants.

Re: Bro x Jake

Yes, Jake is indeed 100% confirmed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. So’s pretty much everyone on Torchwood. When Jane accidentally said something sugestive to Jake, his reaction was pretty much “That sounds so hot I’m getting kind of embarrassed.”, then she corrected him, clarifying that she wasn’t trying to flirt and it wasn’t that kind of dream. Neither Jane nor “Roxy” have sent Jake any cuddlebots or bombarded him with vulgar robot or puppet sex analogies which I’m pretty sure would be offputting to most straight women (It’s possible that “Dick” Strider is interested in women, “Roxy” Lalonde’s “so naive” and “ineligible bachelor” comments could refer to how she considers the whole creepy robot / puppet thing and / or his morbid sense of humour to be a deal breaker.).

That said, IMO, of all the major Homestuck characters, Jake’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed as exclusively straight and Bro’s the most likely to be the next one to be confirmed to be exclusively gay, but I don’t think that rules out the possibility of Bro x Jake or “Roxy” x Bro or pushes them into crackship territory, I just think it makes the pairings less likely than the frontrunners.

Re: Ambiguity and Schrödinger

Perhaps “inconclusive” would have been a better word choice than “ambiguous”, and I should probably clarify what I mean by “Schrödinger’s sexual orientation”. John, Kanaya and Karkat have firmly established sexual orientations, however there is more than enough wiggle room to establish Gamzee as either bi or exclusively gay, or to establish Aradia or Nepeta as either bi or exclusively straight.

If a character is implicitly straight or implicitly gay, I won’t ignore anything which might be contradictory subtext or foreshadowing because I don’t want to get blindsided by the next Ivy ♥ Harley or Willow ♥ Tara. That approach has worked fine for Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse, Doctor Who, Heroes and Glee, and I don’t see why I should abandon that approach for Homestuck and risk embarrassing myself like those people who thought Kanaya had a crush on Tavros.

Maybe Hussie’s decided on Jake’s sexual orientation like he has for Kanaya, John and Lord English, maybe he hasn’t, and will eventually go with whichever option he ultimately decides is most comedically and / or dramatically suitable. Maybe he’ll decide that the Bro ♥ Jake dynamic is funnier if the crush is completely one-sided, maybe he’ll decide it’s funnier with a Terezi ♥ Karkat, Nepeta ♥ Karkat or Gamzee ♥ Tavros dynamic, maybe he’ll decide that the funniest option is to troll everyone by throwing around Jake x Bro red herrings as the setup to a “not a homosexual” punchline in late Act 6, or by establishing that Bro’s the straight one and Jake’s the one with the unrequited crush (it’s pretty unlikely, but I guess that Bro’s flirtations could be retconned as Bro snarkily teasing Jake about his obvious and annoying unrequited crush, similar to how Dave scared off Tavros in this pesterlog).

Re: The diagram

I’m pretty sure none of those six characters are exclusively gay. I just don’t think that it’s been established beyond a reasonable doubt that any of them is exclusively straight. That said, there’s a difference between being bisexual and having viable love interests of both sexes, Karkat’s canonically bi, but hasn’t had any viable canon male love interests in either of his concupiscent quadrants.

TL:DR

I take a scattershot approach to plot speculation because I like to cover all my bases. If there’s a theory which is consistant with established canon and reasonably plausible, I’ll probably defend it. If I’m right, great, I can brag about how I called it. If I’m wrong, it’s no big deal, fan theories get jossed all the time. If a theory’s inconsistant with canon, I don’t have any problem poking holes in it, if I’m polite about it, there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll come off as nice and friendly because I’m pointing out aspects of canon other people may have missed. If people are treating fanon like actual canon, I might politely remind them that their theories aren’t canon, especially if fanon’s being used to argue against canon-compatible theories, it’s often a great opportunity for casual, friendly smartassery. If a theory’s plausible and inconsistant with canon but I dislike it, I might say I dislike it, I’ve been pretty vocal about my dislike of various sadstuck theories, but I generally won’t dismiss it as impossible because I don’t want to be one of those obnoxious fans who swing around their headcanons like they’re actual canon, and don’t want to risk the embarrassment of having argued against a theory which turned out to be canon (Unless the dismissal’s more along the lines of “I’m pretty sure the writers wouldn’t do that because it’s awful and they should know better”.).

(Source: unpopular-hs-opinions)