Sit on sofa. Pick up Galley and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.
With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of Galley’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As Galley opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow Galley to close mouth and swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of Galley, noticing the direction it runs.
Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the Galley from behind sofa. Cradle Galley in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around Galley as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of Galley, noticing the direction it runs.
Retrieve Galley from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the Galley. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle Galley in left arm holding rear nubs tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.
Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the Galley, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and Galley from top of closet. Call matesprit from backyard. Kneel on floor with Galley wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear nubs. Ignore low growls emitted by Galley. Get matesprit to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub Galley’s throat vigorously.
Retrieve Galley from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Get matesprit to lie on Galley with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to matesprit’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve Galley from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place Galley in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Call fire department to retrieve Galley from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid Galley. Take another pill from foil wrap.
Tie Galley’s front nubs to rear nubs with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force Galley’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.
Get matesprit to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the Galley, and close the door.
Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around Helmsman, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle Helmsman in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.
Retrieve Galley from top of shower door (you didn’t know that Galleys can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure his nubs can’t come out this time. With fingers at either side ofhis jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours).
Sit on floor with Galley in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.
Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.
Arrange for Imperial Peacekeepers to get Galley and call local training facility to see if they have any Maroonbloods.